Tell that to Proximo, dude.

Those giraffes you sold him, they won’t mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold him… queer giraffes. He wants his money back.

He was at my house watching Lord of the Rings at the time, so I don’t see how he could have fucking done it.

Dead how, though? You gonna just stab everyone one at a time? Should we line up for it? Do we have to leave our guns at home before we get in the stabbing line?

I was chatting with a buddy the other day about the new MotU movie, and wanted to send him this meme.

If you GIS for “I fisted hard he-man” and safe search is off, the results are… probably not what you’re looking for.

Withers?

I accidentally bypassed the paywall by clicking one of the links to a different article (the “Go fuck yourself, Bambu” link to GN) and then clicking the back button. When I landed back on the Verge article, the “subscribe to the verge to continue reading” message was gone and I had the full article text.

Only worked once tho, I just tried to do it again and I still get the “subscribe” message now.

Extended edition on Saturday and mst3k edition on Sunday would be a helluva weekend.

The article:

Microbrachius means “little arms” and refers to the genital limbs that locked male and female fish together when mating. And dicki means – that’s right, you guessed it.

The wiki:

It is named after its discoverer, Robert Dick.

Turns out I didn’t guess it after all.

It’s because of Teams, right?

Teach a man to cook fentanyl, and he’ll be high for the rest of his life.

Give a man a very small amount of fentanyl and he’ll, ummm, still be high for the rest of his life, I guess.

Verdana all the things!

It’s Matt!

It.

I’m nowhere near Massachusetts but I am a huge fan of breakfast food so I applaud your efforts.

Oh no, wherever will middle school girls be able to try out shoplifting now?

No real naming scheme, mostly just stupid names because they’re funny, though a couple names have been roughly related to the car to which they belonged.

• Pobjoy
• Probably Jessie (yes, “probably” is part of the name)
• Probably Jenny
• My Boy Blue
• Winona
• Jules

69 cousins! How nice.

How do you pronounce that letter? There’s a Danish band I’ve been getting into lately, MØL, but I don’t know how to say it. I’ve been saying “mole” in my head, but I doubt that’s right. It seems to get romanized as “oe” so would it be pronounced “mo-el”?

Based on this poster and the 1942 duckumentary Donald Duck Visits Lake Titicaca, I can safely assume that all ducks hate pants.

That was really their name?!

You’re listening to 107.5 The Hoovas! (Gun cocking sound) The tri-state area’s number one source (n-n-number one s-s-s-ource) for all the best classic rock! With Johnny Gonads and Kelly Smokeytits in the morning! Weather (thunder clap) on the fives and traffic (tire screech) on the sevens!