I remember my child mind being blown when some clothing store my mom took me to had two giant mirrors facing each other. I guess it was so you could see how you looked with their outfits, but I was amazed by the infinite hall of me.

True. Having some reasonable photos and sending a good first message helps with that. Ask your friends of your desired gender to look at your profile. (If you have no such friends, maybe work on that, too.)

Some people just write “hey” and that’s a really poor strategy. Write something that plays off their profile.

Also don’t spend too long chatting on the app. Initial exchange, like 1-3 more volleys, clear any deal breakers, ask them out. You want to get in person so all the normal human things like body language work for you, and the siren song of new matches is somewhat muted.

Conservatives tend to believe in different rules for different people. They don’t really believe in equality

I guess I’m an elder millennial now. Got the greying hair and all.

I had pretty good success on the dating apps without paying. Location is a big factor. But also, as the saying goes, “the bar for men is in hell”. I think just having a reasonable conversation and caring about her put me a tier above the average.

Of course, the apps are profit seeking machines that don’t especially want you to be happy. They can work, but they’re not trying to.

I’m pretty sure the apps algorithm didn’t think I’d click with my partner. It feels very much “pretty close”, like they wanted me to have a few dates and move on. But to everyone’s surprise we really got on, despite things that superficially looked incompatible.

Maybe they should instead build technology that people want and that solves their needs.

I read an article once about how people change their minds. It cited a long term study that found people who changed their stance on big issues (eg: abortion) often didn’t remember they had ever held the opposite opinion. Not only do people not like to admit changing their minds, sometimes they can’t even consciously realize.

The only time I wont willingly admit it is if the other guy is a prick and it won’t do to give them an inch.

At the risk of being seen as a prick myself, I feel like I hear the siren song of that behavior, but man is it unhealthy.

It’s more common if people arguing against me are inflammatory: “LOL, you absolute moron! Take a look at this: (well-researched study)”

I try to remember that “The worst person you know just made an excellent point” onion post for times like that.

I really don’t want to be like my mother at all

I think this is a big motivator for me. I’ve seen how aggravating it is when someone refuses to admit fault, continuously reaches for excuses and justifications and lies, rather than just shrug and say “Oh. Seems like you were right.” Hell, you don’t even have to explicitly say “I was wrong” most of the time.

Hierarchy is simply a reality. Believing in hierarchy is like believing in reality itself (i.e. someone is going to be better than me at weaving baskets voilà you have a hierarchy: simple as).

That’s not exactly what was meant by hierarchy. It’s more like having some people rule over others is good and natural. And that people don’t really change their station in life. You’re a peasant so course the royal family rules over you. They’re good at ruling. Perhaps innately.

There is no obvious limit to what can be considered “charity.” So, if the government takes responsibility for providing charity instead of leaving it to individuals and communities, it can use that as a reason to keep expanding its power and responsibilities.

I don’t find this a compelling argument. “Something bad might happen so we shouldn’t do anything”. I’m sure many of the people suffering from lack of food, shelter, and health care also do not find it compelling. You shouldn’t go outside because bad things can happen there. You shouldn’t lend your phone to your friend because there’s no obvious limit what they can do with it. You can use this argument to avoid anything.

The appeal to the “founding fathers” is not very effective. They lived a very long time ago in a very different world, and were not saints.

this is what Conservatives actually believe

It kind of is! They believe in hierarchy, and that people need to be in their correct place for the world to work. It’s a reason they oppose things like social programs- things that try to bring people up contradict the natural order and lead to bad times!

They’re kind of bad people, fundamentally.

The reason many conservatives don’t like socialism is because the wrong sort of people will get nice things. That’s it. If white people benefit then it’s cool.

They are bad people by any reasonable metric.

I think something is just wrong with some people’s brains where they go with in-group solidarity no matter what. Overrides almost any amount of logic and reason

Maybe he’s a magical pinata and if we hit him money will come out.

Incels don’t typically like real women. They live in a fantasy/nightmare world.

My old boss used to sometimes send random links in the chat. Sometimes with a “check this out” generic description.

I’d tell him that looked like phishing every time, but he didn’t care.

That’s pretty typical of the US justice system. You can be falsely accused of something, spend a bunch of time with lawyers and bad press, and then they can just drop it. You don’t get compensated.

They should have had cross play with windows from the start. Fuck Microsoft.

I would recommend the invite tracking. Keep track of who invites bad actors, even higher order. If your friend’s friends suck, that should reflect a little on you. If no one has vouched for you, then you’re less trusted.

One recurring problem is there are a lot of people who don’t really want democracy. They want hierarchy. Many of them don’t need to be at the top, so long as there are people below them.

It’s conservatives. Conservatives are the problem.