My dad has recently been caught having an affair with his young personal assistant. Huge scandal; mom was very angry. Now they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. Mom moved out, the other woman moved in and I chose to stay with him because we’re super close; he’s like my best friend. Now mom’s telling me to go and live with her and go no contact with him cause he’s a bad person and by continuing having a relationship with him I’m condoning his actions and “ignoring her suffering”. My relationship with my dad hasn’t changed, I don’t see why I should end it.
Most of the advice here has been good, apart from
one persona few dicks who have an overly simplistic view of the world and think they have some moral authorityYou don’t know the details of your parents’ relationship. You don’t know how they behaved when you weren’t there
Life is never black-and-white. This isn’t condoning cheating, it’s an acknowledgement that it’s very simple to say what’s right and wrong when you are on the outside
What’s shit is that you are being put in the middle
The problem is between your mother and father and neither of them should expect you to take a side, but once again, life is messy and hurt people do things in their anger and frustration that aren’t rational or reasonable
Time definitely helps, and things can take years to settle, if they ever do
It’s unfair for you to be used as a pawn in their game. People who make demands and try to squeeze you with a “you’re with me, or you’re against me” aren’t looking out for you, they’re looking out for themselves
No child should be weaponised.
If you can handle the conflict, or potentially messy details, you can ask her why she expects you to abandon your father. She might come to realise what an unfair position she’s putting you in
Either way, good luck, and remember that it’s easy to judge, but there’s a lot of truth in the old saying about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes
Kia kaha
The problem with this
dicksfine persons arguement is your choosing sides either way. Its unfortunate but true. And do you want to stand on the side of the person who didn’t cheat, or the one who didInaction is still an action