First, don’t tell me that the answer is just to “not bottle things up”, because that’s objectively incorrect too. Society doesn’t want you to have any negative emotions. I need to know how to not express negative emotions at all whatsoever unless I’m alone. I know it can be done because it is done in many other people on the planet.
Edit: Ok so I think one of the things I want to try doing next is ask for a med change from my psych provider.
Journal. Let your feelings out, incrementally, in a place that you don’t feel vulnerable for doing so.
Today co-worker did X, they’re a cunt. It annoys me because Y. Seriously, Co-worker is a dick. At the time I wish I had done Z, but Z is illegal. Nexr time I’ll try [reasonable action]
There’s a journaling format that I really rate call “jackal journalling”, invented by Kate Raffin, and based on NVC. It’s basically what you say - brain dump of abusive/judgemental thoughts, but with an added layer of going back and analysing the feelings associated with each thought, and trying to identify the unmet needs they express. It can be really helpful for turning a head full of anger/despair/whatever bad thoughts into a useful assessment, and it can help give direction as to what to do next too.
template: https://communicationforlife.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/jackal-and-giraffe-journal-6-pages-FINAL-Kate-Raffin.pdf