32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they’ve gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you’re an average looking man?
As a woman my advice is as follows: be a decent and caring human being who does something positive for others on a daily basis. Needy and deceptive behavior drives away people who are attracted to you.
This is a good idea in general, however this doesn’t help when it comes to getting the first interest, because how can you tell if someone is really genuine about caring from a few words on a profile?
But yeah, my girlfriend wanted to start dating me not because I am the most attractive person, but because I am always nice to her and to people in general. To me it seems crazy to not be, but I guess not everyone is like that.
It is not your words but your actions that indicates that you are caring and first interest is not rational for anyone so no point in trying to game it as it only comes off as non-genuine.
This is not useful advice for dating apps.
While that is true, i think it also nicely points out that dating apps are actually not a great way to find a partner anymore
I mean, they were never, like, a fun way to meet a partner. But they certainly are a way.
i can see that, certainly. and there are cases where they are unavoidable. But still (and i show my age here) I’d still rather avoid them if at all possible
A totally understandable take. On the other hand, I personally find them quite useful, and don’t think they should be dismissed out of hand. And I think that if someone wants advice on using them effectively (going back to my original post in this thread), that they should be given advice on using them effectively - not platitudes.
True but OP’s question was about dating apps, where the other person is shown your picture and prewritten blurb, and spends at most a few seconds deciding whether to swipe left or right. I can very easily understand a swipe-right ratio of well under 1%. So I think the question was about how to get past that.
You don’t prefer attractive people?
There is no universal definition of attractive for all people, women, men, robots or space aliens.
Be your true self and if you look far enough, you’ll be someone’s fantasy ( no guarantees on if you will find them attractive as well ).
Even if only 1 in 10 million people think of you as their fantasy; that means you have 800+ possible partners to choose from.
If any of the said 800 people are reading this, drop me a line :D
Rephrasing, you don’t prefer people who you find attractive?
Attractive for me is about the contents of one’s mind and heart.
I prefer my husband; who could gain or lose more than a 100 lbs and I would still be attracted to him. (Not that I wouldn’t encourage him to be healthy, so we can share more years together)
Wow, that is really sweet. For most people I think physical attractiveness plays a much bigger role, especially on dating apps where it’s just a picture or two and a bio.