Hence why my opinion of being told about that was ‘that sounds completely fucking insane’.
Like… fuck, man.
Yeah, beyond the rather obvious ‘never even consider this without enthusiastic consent’…
You probably should just never do this.
I know people can be and are into varying kinds and degrees of pain during the hanky panky… BUT…
It would extremely easy for someone of… really just average strength for an average young male athlete… to punch someone, in the back of the head or upper neck… with enough force that you could cause serious brain damage, break their neck, fuck them up for life, potentially even kill them.
Like if you can’t tell, I’m more into the sensual stuff in the bedroom, maybe a bit of consented restraint…
… but I also have a black belt. Took over a decade to earn, been in a lot of kumite bouts, competed in several tournaments, watched a few more talented karetekas from my dojo go on to place in the top 3s of regional, national, international tournaments.
And … this idea terrifies me, any real martial arts competition I have ever even heard of would disqualify you from the match, and probably ban you for life for intentionally punching someone in the back of the head.
Yeah, we have done some rough stuff before, but we wouldn’t do this.
There are just some things, even with RACK that cannot be safe and personally we don’t think they should be done at all.
Such things like choking even aren’t really safe and we definitely don’t really do them in our play and never would for real, we might fake choke where we never squeeze.
But yeah, pretty much, really try to avoid situations where harm could actually be done irreparably, and always have tools, methods, safe words and signs etc on hand.
Doing any kink, or sex without those things is not great. Not getting at you btw, just explaining things to any readers of this thread, safety first in any intimacy, but especially mental and physical intimacy.
The choking thing is…I’ve known a good number of people who just… dont understand that actually cutting off oxygen supply to someone’s brain is fucking bad, and does not really work like it does in video games and movies.
As you say, you… can grasp someone’s neck in a way where they can still breathe… I’ve known too many idiots who do not know how to do this and also do not know that it is dangerous to have done to yourself.
When we were at school some time ago we remember people doing it to themselves and making themselves pass out. We never joined in, but it’s likely they have breathing problems to this day.
Oh goodness, I didn’t realize I was talking with a plural system till just now!
Ah, either way, yes, I also as a kid in school … well I can’t say I ever directly saw it, but I definitely heard about other kids asphyxiating themselves for… fun?
I have actually in the past dated another eh… system within one body, ‘she’ had a primary identity/consciousness that was in command maybe 85% of the time, but a number of others would take over or emerge in various situations.
I guess the… totality of myself and all of the ‘alters’ (this was the term ‘she’ used) within ‘her’ body (afab body, but the alters were of varying genders, and pronouns, grammar is hard) … well we all did not end up working out as a ‘couple’ (… again, grammar) but I don’t see that as any reason to take my one experience with such a system and use it to just immediately negatively paint every other similar system I encounter.
Hence why my opinion of being told about that was ‘that sounds completely fucking insane’.
Like… fuck, man.
Yeah, beyond the rather obvious ‘never even consider this without enthusiastic consent’…
You probably should just never do this.
I know people can be and are into varying kinds and degrees of pain during the hanky panky… BUT…
It would extremely easy for someone of… really just average strength for an average young male athlete… to punch someone, in the back of the head or upper neck… with enough force that you could cause serious brain damage, break their neck, fuck them up for life, potentially even kill them.
Like if you can’t tell, I’m more into the sensual stuff in the bedroom, maybe a bit of consented restraint…
… but I also have a black belt. Took over a decade to earn, been in a lot of kumite bouts, competed in several tournaments, watched a few more talented karetekas from my dojo go on to place in the top 3s of regional, national, international tournaments.
And … this idea terrifies me, any real martial arts competition I have ever even heard of would disqualify you from the match, and probably ban you for life for intentionally punching someone in the back of the head.
Its way too fucking dangerous.
Yeah, we have done some rough stuff before, but we wouldn’t do this.
There are just some things, even with RACK that cannot be safe and personally we don’t think they should be done at all.
Such things like choking even aren’t really safe and we definitely don’t really do them in our play and never would for real, we might fake choke where we never squeeze.
But yeah, pretty much, really try to avoid situations where harm could actually be done irreparably, and always have tools, methods, safe words and signs etc on hand.
Doing any kink, or sex without those things is not great. Not getting at you btw, just explaining things to any readers of this thread, safety first in any intimacy, but especially mental and physical intimacy.
100% agree with all of that.
The choking thing is…I’ve known a good number of people who just… dont understand that actually cutting off oxygen supply to someone’s brain is fucking bad, and does not really work like it does in video games and movies.
As you say, you… can grasp someone’s neck in a way where they can still breathe… I’ve known too many idiots who do not know how to do this and also do not know that it is dangerous to have done to yourself.
When we were at school some time ago we remember people doing it to themselves and making themselves pass out. We never joined in, but it’s likely they have breathing problems to this day.
Oh goodness, I didn’t realize I was talking with a plural system till just now!
Ah, either way, yes, I also as a kid in school … well I can’t say I ever directly saw it, but I definitely heard about other kids asphyxiating themselves for… fun?
Yeah, seemed like a bad idea to me as well.
… A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Glad you recognised us for what we are and weren’t horrible about it. So many on lemmy are, sadly.
Ah, we actually did see it happening, but passed by them most of the time.
Yeah, we agree, intentionally causing irreparable damage to one or many’s self or selves is not a good thing.
I have actually in the past dated another eh… system within one body, ‘she’ had a primary identity/consciousness that was in command maybe 85% of the time, but a number of others would take over or emerge in various situations.
I guess the… totality of myself and all of the ‘alters’ (this was the term ‘she’ used) within ‘her’ body (afab body, but the alters were of varying genders, and pronouns, grammar is hard) … well we all did not end up working out as a ‘couple’ (… again, grammar) but I don’t see that as any reason to take my one experience with such a system and use it to just immediately negatively paint every other similar system I encounter.
I hope all ya’ll are doing well!