I’m often disappointed with myself when I’m angry. It feels like, “a stronger person wouldn’t be mad at this” or “I’m fragile/insecure”. Anger has been the hardest emotion to live with; it just feels wrong.
I always need external validation from others during/after anger. And worse, I need an endless supply of it.
Learning to validate myself is the obvious solution but I don’t have a clue where to start. A self-help book would just sit on a shelf. Do you have any tips?
Assuming you don’t have access to therapy, but I do think that’s your best bet.
It might help when speaking to yourself to talk to yourself as if you were either a close friend or your as a child. Would you say any of those things to your best friend if they were upset? Probably not, so just train yourself not to speak to yourself that way.
If you think you have an actual anger problem then maybe finding a good outlet for anger would help like exercise or art.