Outside of romantic partners I don’t think you “need” anyone else.
Friendships are not important.
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Yes, but that depends.
If your left arm had cancer, or gangrene, removing it was what you needed to be healthy.
friends/family can be like that. The problem is people assume they are always good. they are not always. lots of people are caught it toxic/unhealthy dynamics and relationships that are making their lives objectively worse, but they refuse to end these relationships out of fear of being alone or their fear of being a ‘loser’ without any friends… when maybe their life would be objectively better without those people in it.
and just like removing your left arm, if you do it, they are not coming back, and even if you get a replacement prosthetic, it might be somewhat functional and nice to have, it’s not ever going to be a pale shadow of the original arm. your new friends will never ‘measure up’ to the old ones for various reasons, even if you do find new ones.
the problem is the presumption. people presume lots of things, that are not necessarily true for you. you presume that having people you can open up to, is always good. but it’s not always.
hell, you can have therapists who do more damage to you than you’d have done without therapy. there are shitty therapists out there. I had a few ‘therapy’ experiences in my youth that basically made everything worse, because the therapist took my emotions and magnified them back at me, rather than actually helping me process them. like when I was 21 I saw a college mental health councilor who tried to convince me I was suicidal, when I was just depressed.
personally, the happiness times in my life are the times I was the least social. and i often struggled more in life when I had ‘friends’ and ‘partners’ and other ‘supportive’ people… who were actively basically trying to sabotage me from pursuing my own happiness because they felt it was a threat to themselves.
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Yeah, for sure. But a lot of people don’t draw that level of distinction for any of this. Or are even aware of it.
Because the social shame around these things, is so intense. and the fear of being ‘alone’.
Wouldn’t that be covered by the romantic partner usually?
A romantic partner is ideally also a friend. They can often handle both, but they’re just one friend and that’s putting a lot of weight on their shoulders. And things in life change. What happens if your romantic partner gets seriously ill and you can’t confide in them anymore? What if the romantic partner is the person you’re having issues with and you need an outside point of view? Not everything is so minimalist in real life. Good luck trying to keep it minimalist like you’re proposing, but life often has other ideas.
What if the romantic partner is the person you’re having issues with and you need an outside point of view?
Counselor or therapist? I’m not talking about my personal romantic issues with anyone else really. Friends aren’t qualified for that and it’s none of their business.
Recently found the first friends that i put that level of trust into and I can not explain how much it is way different than a therapist. Your partner holds a special place, but that also comes with alot of its own issues. For me there was alot of extra pressure purely because they are the one i care about the most. That hindered me from being as open as i wanted in certain situations and could not stay true to neither them nor myself. Having friends that you trust enough to do that with but where the stakes are “lower” makes that way easier. A therapist could do that but its usually way more time consuming, expensive and less fulfilling than having people that already know and thay respect you to whom you can open up and discuss with. It is also just way more “real”, heart-to-heart and human in a way a therapist can not be.
If you are going to limit yourself to what your romantic partner is interested in, I suppose it could work, but feels very confined.
I have many hobbies and interests not shared in full by any romantic partner I’ve ever had, though there have been some notable exceptions.
One woman I dated for many years rode motorcycles and snowboards.
Another shared my interest in Fromsoft video games.
I doubt anyone I would seriously date at 50 is going to share my passion for skateboarding, though I’d love to be proven wrong on that one.
I don’t have many close friends, and only two live within visiting distance. Most have spread across the country. We stay in touch with a phone call every month or two, catching up, sharing stories, discussing common interests. The ones in town I’ll see maybe once a month as well, for dinner, drinks, or a motorcycle ride.
They all bring ideas and experiences into my life I wouldn’t otherwise have, and by maintaining friendships with a wide variety in background and education, it keeps me from becoming too narrow minded or stunted.
Could I live my life without my friends? Sure. Would I want to? Absolutely not.
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This is stupid ragebait. Op wont even respond to comments, classic boring ass trolling.
Block him!
This whole community turned to shit. It’s all open-ended questions better suited for asklemmy…you know, the community for open-ended/opinion questions?
It’s contrary to the point of the subreddit it took its name from which admittedly also went to shit…but not nearly as fast and not nearly as severe as this.
The worst part about Lemmy is how more content is seen as a good thing. I’d rather a community have 2 good posts a day as opposed to 20 garbage posts.
Agreed, im not a fan of “engagement bait”. If you dont have anything to say dont make up dumb questions just for the sake of it.
https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf
Not having friends has similar health impacts to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Making friends makes you physically and mentally healthier, gives connections that can help you out of rough patches in your life and into opportunities.
You ‘can’ live without them, but probably not as long as you would have otherwise.
I got no sources, but I’ve regularly heard people claim that depression and similar mental health issues have an equal or worse health impact than smoking or other “soft” drug abuse.
What are you talking about
That depression, even without suicide, shortens lifespans as much as cancer or disease
Oh yeah, I must have read that wrong somehow 🤔
No worries, happens to the best of us ;-)
Can an individual survive without friends? Definitely.
Can the human species survive without friends? Probably not.
Your shit takes are boring
My guy, go make some friends. Get out there, join a club, lots of games nights and meetup groups out there. Rationalising not needing friends is generally a clear sign you need new friends.
i wish i had close friends. a romantic partner would be nice too, but friendships are better.
yes people need friends. i need friends. ive tried the whole “get all your needs met by my romantic partner” thing. it works fine when times are good, but as soon as theres serious conflict or stress you need other people for support. your partner isnt perfect and neither are you, so in those bad times you share together you will see the worst of each other, and your needs wont be met. in time this breeds resentment and will lead to the end of the relationship. its a sad, lonely, empty existence going through life without friends you trust. you might not feel like it right now but eventually you will learn.
I talk to my partner when there’s a problem. I don’t need to share that with someone else, it’s none of their business.
If someone doesn’t have a romantic partner, they shouldn’t explain their problems or tell anyone about their problems.
They shouldn’t even speak to other people, right
You said that, not me
It’s true though. If you are single and going through severe depression suicidal thoughts whatever don’t tell anyone its no one business don’t get “friends” at all the only person you should open up to Is your romantic partner no one else.
Wow
Community is absolutely important. We are stronger together.
Do you plan to only do things with romantic partner?
Why do you think you need a romantic partner?
… A better question would be: “what do you define as a friend?”
I mean, personally I want to enjoy being alive, and I enjoy being alive when I have friends. I don’t care about having a romantic partner.
I don’t “need” a romantic partner. I need human connection of some kind but maybe not everyone does
Even when it comes to personality disorders (or other brain stuff) I would say there’s still a distinction between need and want.
A lot of cause for isolation is circumstance (and difficulties relating to socializing), so it’s very likely that a lot of terminally-friendless people would disagree with OP’s (supposed) attitude on this.
I need recognition, love and freedom. Anybody who’s willing to give me that is welcome to have any undefined relationship with me. I couldn’t care less what the relationship is called.
