• 0 Posts
  • 16 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 15th, 2023

help-circle
  • I think I’m about to take liberties with the term “strategic play.” But I’ll tell this regardless.

    I have a friend who is only hyper competitive when playing games, especially board games. In the moment, he wants to win so badly that he will do anything to win. He manipulates, gaslights, he’s dangerously intelligent and he’s good at making it seem like he’s just playing casually. And then once the game is over? He doesn’t care at all whether he won or lost. It’s infuriating sometimes.

    Thanks to also being an extremely competitive person, I saw through it pretty quickly the first few games I ever played with him. But nobody else does. It seemed like nobody ever tried to win by comparison. So when he and I are in the same game, I know I’m going to lose. And he’ll use the other people at the table even if I can see it happening. Even if I made comments about it mid-game, nobody would believe me.

    So I got petty. I couldn’t beat him at the manipulation game. Instead, I turned him into a meme. When he ever looked like he was behind, and someone noticed, I’d say in a light-hearted conspiratorial way, “[his name] is always ahead.” Repeated it whenever he would take the lead and eventually when he won the game. “You see? [His name] is always ahead.”

    It caught like wildfire. Our other friends started using the catchphrase, even in games where I wasn’t there. People started using attack cards on him more often. They’d be less friendly with him about trading. People would snub him even when he was so far behind there was no catching up. The day I realized how much it got to him, was one day he told me how much that phrase impacted his ability to play games with friends. It ruined a lot of his fun. Sometimes new friends who didn’t even play with us that often would use it. I didn’t realize how much damage it caused. All I wanted was for people to be more wary of his manipulation tactics. But instead I took something fun from a good friend and made it miserable.

    So I haven’t said it for years since. But our other friends still remember and will say the phrase from time to time. He’s always ahead.




  • I got this kind of support from my parents nearly 20 years ago. It was absolutely lucky and I got access and care in ways others didn’t. It made me feel guilty the older I got and the more trans friends I made, who didn’t have anything close to what I had. I feel very sad about it. My life wasn’t perfect, I still have problems, but probably way fewer than the alternative.

    In my day to day life I try to make up for it by helping other trans people. I become the support that I always had. It’s not as easy as it looks. Hope you’re doing well and I wish for you and others reading this to find support where you can get it. I know I’m trying to pay it forward. And so will others. Look for the helpers.





  • That’s why I started my opinion with “one of the things” that makes good art. Another set you clearly pointed out is time and place. The fact is that people do not value negative outcomes or feelings. I think being aware of it, and why you’re annoyed or feel hate, is very important. The thing that annoys you about tree carvings tells me what you care about. Defacement of nature and public monuments is also a statement and also art whether you enjoy it or not. There is always something to glean from the negative.


  • One of the characteristics of good art, to me, is how strongly it makes somebody feel. Any feeling. If a work of art annoys you, that too should be appreciated. In the same way that an actor who plays a character that makes you HATE them should be admired. That is not only a difficult thing to accomplish but also the least appreciated. If all characters satisfy your personal hangups and pet peeves, then every character is the same person.

    Rejoice that you are annoyed by something. That says something about you as much as the work of art




  • Disco Elysium is so fucking wild. It’s the most empathetic game I’ve ever played. I am someone who has an easy time putting myself in other people’s shoes. The character is an alcoholic mess, on the brink of a depression so deep he has totally fractured his own memory and sense of self. He’s a genius. He’s also an idiot. And he’s a cop/detective in a world that really despises cops. It’s what I would call the idealistic cop: the one that would put themself between a group of armed men and a group of innocent people with nothing but a dinky pistol and say stand down.

    Anyway, I love how it makes me feel about everything in its place. The ideologies that drive us. The youth we waste on fooling around. The insanity and, somehow, the humor of racism. The mistakes that make us who we are. The idealistic pursuits that are so high they can never be achieved. How heartbreak never goes away.

    Most importantly, I played a game with an internal monologue built-in as the RPG system, and it nearly exactly matches how I think and feel. My mind is also fractured as identifiable pieces of myself. I gave some parts of them names because it made it easier to separate the thoughts from how I truly felt. I have nearly all the same psyches just with different names from Volition, Half-light, etc. And it floored me. I have never played a game that was as introspective as I was. Right down to the simultaneously protective and self destructive thoughts clashing within and one winning out. It gave me a third person perspective of my own self destructive and unhealthy thought processes. And it helped me love myself a little bit more. I feel like I’ll never be able to play anything like it again for the rest of my life.





  • Dialogue and movement in films and shows is so damn well rehearsed that I can never truly get immersed. Real conversations are awkward. We stutter. We fumble words. We forget people’s names, or what we were just talking about. Never for dramatic reasons. Just because we’re human. Script writers are hyper focused on fitting as much wit and humor as they can jam in there. I think some authors of books fall into the same trap. A 16 year old character somehow has the wit and wisdom of someone twice their age. I want more scenes made with genuine stumbling embarrassing awkwardness.

    You know those moments where later people learn that the actor improvised the line? Or the movements? Best one I ever saw was Heath Ledger’s Joker failing to blow up the hospital.

    [ He turns around. Well shit. Looks back at the device and mashes the button a few more times. Hospital finally blows up and he gets startled. ]

    THAT’S THE SHIT. Give me more of that. Let me see the characters fuck up. Get uncomfortable. Make genuinely minor mistakes. Give me flaws. Give me something that isn’t witty. I’m tired of getting bashed over the head with polished scripts.

    Animated movies tend to do this better to be fair. Lots to appreciate from the recent animated Spiderman movies for example.