You’re telling me this snake is eating a person questioning their gender? Wtf why are they taking photos instead of helping?

Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think basketballs fit in those /s.

Some kind of Abyssal demon?

I buy myself time by saying “what’s the word for…” and by the time I’ve said that, or perhaps because I primed my brain for it, I immediately remember, and finish by asking what the word for the word I’m thinking of is, which ends up confusing more people than if I hadn’t tried to remember the word at all.

Here’s some context: https://www.tumblr.com/orcboxer/745857099387584512/have-you-seen-the-new-show-its-on-tubu-its

The survey they cite has Bernie at 12%, so I’m not sure what method they did to allow for more than 100% - maybe you could choose more than one answer?

Yeah I work in medical fraud detection, and I think it’s wild that if you only steal a few hundred thousand you buy a car and then get caught and sent to jail, but if you steal orders of magnitude more you get to be governor and then senator of Florida.

The day I turned 29 all of my joints started hurting forever.

I really thought this was an elaborate Saddam hiding meme

Maybe we should lend less credence to a law making certain people illegal that was passed while the Nazis controlled Germany.

I feel very confident in my understanding of random 8 bit CPUs and their support chips, but asking me to center a div is like this xkcd.

I had a fake credit card account opened for me by Wells Fargo. It caused me to accidentally transfer money to the wrong account (from savings to the credit card), so I tried moving the -$10 from the credit card to my checking account, and then I was charged a cash advance fee, and then an overdraft fee. The class action settlement money didn’t even cover one of the fees 🙃

I don’t know enough about eyeballs to be able to answer, but 5 leagues is a bit more than 5x farther than eagles can see, and eagles already have larger pupils than humans do.

I like to think of myself as what would happen if a man and a woman had a baby.

I’ve heard things like “well things have to get worse before they get better” and “at least he’s going to end the war in Ukraine” from family.

I was sent to school in a red state (Indiana) and still ended up like the top picture, who’s laughing now?

I legitimately know people who press the caps lock key, type what they need uppercased, then press the caps lock key again. That said, I use both shift keys.

In undergrad I once went back to my dorm room and eagerly showed my roommate the video of Grace Hopper illustrating how long lengths of time are (https://youtu.be/9eyFDBPk4Yw). A little while later, he was talking about this scene and how he likes the writing, because engineers are often much more excited by something seemingly mundane, such as the various lengths of wire needed for a project, than “this is my spaceship.”

Anyway, I tell him, completely seriously and with no sense of irony, “yeah, but why would anyone care about lengths of wire?”

He yelled back, “You literally came in here to show me a video about lengths of wire.”

Very few roads in California have tolls.