https://www.zombo.com/

For younger generations. Lovingly remade in HTML5 because flash is dead.

Seconded by Terry Davis

Slowly turning into a Life in Hell strip

Hello there

Oh thank god, I was worried brows would continue to remain unfurrowed.

In a short story, the monkey’s paw is an artifact that grants three wishes of the person who holds it, albeit in the worst way possible.

The story goes that a pensioner and his wife receive the paw from some guy who warns them that the paw twists the wishes, but they pay the warning no mind and wish for a sum of money. A finger on the paw curls, and a factory foreman shows up with the money explaining that their son has died of a horrific mutilating accident in the factory. The insurance policy pays the money out to the surviving members of the family.

The wife wishes that their son were alive again, another finger curls, and a few hours later they hear another knock at the door. The wife rushes to welcome their son, however, recalling the stranger’s warning and imagining how terrifying the mutilated body of their son might look, the father uses the last finger to wish the son dead and buried again. Incidentally, there doesn’t appear to be a negative on that wish apart from the horror that’s already been visited on them.

This is how most supermarkets (Walmart/Kroger/Target, etc.) in the U.S. look brand new - they’re effectively warehouses that sell product directly to customers. Smaller shops and boutiques have finished ceilings that hide the ductwork and such because they’re meant to be more flexible commercial/office space, but large stores like this do not, except for specialized locations like electronics, jewelery, or pharmacy, that can be gated off from the rest of the inside of the building for reduced operation and security.

I mean, okay, but how much of anything can get hit by lightning and not be a smoldering crater without proper grounding and such?

Of course without committing a crime before and without saying anything else.

You will probably commit a crime or misdemeanor unknowingly on the way to the station. There is a reason you do not talk to the police, even if you think you’re completely innocent.

https://youtu.be/d-7o9xYp7eE?si=ppgOcO6ZcOVPC0oB

I had a princess, but they took her in the divorce!

I always feel really dumb when reading it because it’s clear the author is an astrophysicist, but I still enjoy it because it’s quite warm and does a really good job of developing the characters. Honestly I think the only real one-note character is Kornada and he’s very deliberately that because he represents a grey goo machine in the form of unchecked capitalism.

What’d you say about my moms?

Funnily enough, I do feel like an adult, mostly because I’ve been aware enough for long enough that everyone else is making it up as they go, that I can sense when people are on their bullshit and navigate it pretty effectively.

Also I’m making a lot of decisions that will hopefully insulate me from the consequences of my inevitable failure, but I hold no delusions that the safety net will ever be perfect or even good, or that some arbitrary amount of austerity would have bought me a house at this point, so I don’t starve myself of the little pleasures in the moment - today is the rainy day. I use my PTO, I get a little treat every once in a while, and I make myself as comfortable as I can. My life satisfaction has increased drastically with that in mind.

It’s an unfortunate fact of life, you’ll find sycophants no matter where you go.

Having all the existing connections probably doesn’t hurt either. If your daddy already knows the people who will make your budding enterprise a success, you have a lot lower chance of missing that dart toss. Not zero, but it’s like getting to take three big steps over the line.

Because having money blunts your empathy.

Used to work in a painting hangar and guys would regularly pilfer supplies. For most people it was just touch up brushes or minijet cups for minor stuff at home, but some people would be stealing whole rolls of masking tape, suits and hoods, sandpaper, bottles of rubbing alcohol and acetone, etc.

I know at least one guy who confided in me that he made a mint stealing supplies and painting cars on the side. He said the only thing he paid for was paint. I think the only reason nobody ever got called out on it was because our work was so good we were a preferred painter for UAE and Qatar planes, so everyone in the C-Suite was making millions of dollars and paying jack shit to the workers, and I’m guessing they figured the shrinkage was an acceptable cost of doing business.

Lol you think anyone gives 100% effort to their job? Not even the CEO cares that much.

Yeah but employers want to be the only party who can have their cake and eat it by giving one person the work of three people and calling them ‘cross-trained.’

“But if we don’t vote Republican, the Democrats will eat babies!!!1!”

I’m so tired of this shit.