Imagine being a confederate soldier, and then watching the assasination of MLKjr. Seeing everything change over the coarse of 200 years. Remembering that the confederacy only lasted for 4 years.

Then imagine seeing people in OHIO with a confederate flag. C’mon Ohio. You’re not the south. You share a border with Canada. You weren’t part of this. Why are you choosing to be trash?

See, by my nature I usually make a joke as a reply to everything.

But that statement…man. It’s hard to justify making a joke about rale/abuse victims and pedophila.

Can you just talk about J.D Vance instead? Remember the meme where he fucks couches??? Now THAT I can work with!

Learn things? With our education system??? Buddy! What do you think this is??? A different country? Who’s this other country you’re thinking about??? They sound like someone we need to go to war with! Do they have oil?

HA! Jokes on them! I’m running a budget dell PC from 10 years ago! The PC itself is slower than any delays they cause! I’m talkin’ 3-5 minutes to load each video. Sometimes the whole PC freezes, and you need to unplug it. Sometimes the browser crashes right at the end, so you gotta relaunch the browser, and then wait 20 minutes for all the tabs to populate. Then you gotta end task on all the individual windows. Then you gotta reload just the tab you’re looking at, and THEN you can wait 5 minutes again.

You think I’m even going to notice your 10 second delay?

I bet Doc Brown knows.

All you gotta do is reply back “I do not support America. I support Saudi Arabia’s takeover of America.”

See, they won’t see you as a terrorist, because despite having direct involvement in 9/11, and despite having a direct role in 99% of American businesses, America still see’s Saudi Arabia as an ally. I’ve been baffled by that for decades, but, they do.

Now if you’d have used Iran as the example, you’d be locked up.

I also don’t understand our allegiance to Israel at this point.

Daily reminder, Jimmy Carter willingly sold his peanut farm because his morality told him of his own viewpoints that it may be seen as unfair for a President to own business interests while serving the most important role of government. Which in his mind may come off as corrupt.

We now have a president who see’s his name as a brand. That’s where we’ve gone.

I feel like men sometimes look at women as “there’s my fuckhole”, and I feel like women sometimes look at men as “there’s my validation”.

In both cases, the person is wrong for thinking of the other gender as being there exclusively to fill the role that they’ve cast for the other.

I’ve dated women where I wasn’t me. I was “the boyfriend”. A role that literally any male could have played. Because who I was didn’t matter. My personality wasn’t being considered. My needs and wants and goals weren’t given any thought because to these women, none of that mattered. I was there exclusively to fill the role of validating her insecurities that she is able to find someone, anyone, to love her.

On the flip side of that, I have in decades gone by been guilty of fucking a girl, simply because she let me. Where I realized our personalities didn’t mesh. We weren’t going to last long term. So just shut the fuck up as I fuck you in the ass.

The one major difference, is that in my ex’s case, she was lying to herself that I mattered. So therefore she was also lying to me, because she was trying to convince herself that we were a match.

Whereas I tried to date the girl I eventually just fucked. But after a month, I realized our personalities did not mesh. So I was upfront. She was free to leave, or free to be bend over and be treated like a human sex doll.

Although I can’t say all guys will be honest if they’re just using you for sex.

The point is, you need to ask yourself if you want “a boyfriend” or if you want to start dating (insert person’s name here) because (person) makes you happy when you’re around them.

And watch out for guys just using you for sex. If you’re fine with it, it can be a lot of fun. You’re free to try out kinks judgement free without long term consequence.

But if you’re NOT fine with casual sex, you need to know that’s what it is.

42 gallon jar of baconaise, magic the gathering common cards, and a box of matches!

I don’t think I need to go on.

No.

You think I don’t notice??? I say outloud “I WANT TO BUY CATFOOD!!!” and then suddenly later that week, by pure coincidence, at the supermarket, there just “happens” to be a whole isle of various pet foods??? Yeah. I think not! That whole scheme is just an alien scheme to get me to adopt that french cat who follows me around town speaking french all day! I tried telling him! MR CAT! I DON’T SPEAK YOUR FRENCH LANGUAGE!!! YOU NEED TO BEFRIEND A TRANSLATOR TO TALK TO ME!!! NO HABLAH ESPENOL!!!"

But there he is. Every day, just trying to talk to me like “J’ai un chat dans mon pantalon”.

And you’re trying to tell me this cat is just a natural wild animal? This is the work of aliens for sure! Otherwise this cat would walk to Quebec Canada where they tolerate that kind of frenchness.

What? You think cats give a shit about our borders, and passports??? Bitch, have you met a cat???

Never heard of that name before, so I googled it. Holy shit. Guys, if you haven’t heard of Rachel Dolezal, google it. It is a WILD read.

It reminds me of this local wrestling character. “Malcolm Farrakhan”. A combination of the names Malcolm X and Louis Farrakhan. Played by a 90lbs 5’2 white guy, who surrounded himself with a group of big muscular black guys. One of which you might remember from WWE in The Nexus as “Micheal Tarver”.

Well, Malcolm Farrakhan was as white as could be, which was the whole joke. He didn’t do blackface (thank god), but his whole schtick was screaming “I AM A VERY LIGHT SHADE OF BLACK!!! I HAVE BLACK HERRITAGE!!!” meanwhile the crowd laughs at the absurdity, as a group of 4-5 black guys all act like they fully believe him.

Wrestling is weird, and not meant to be taken seriously.

But this Rachel Dolezal essentially did the exact same thing a decade later, except in real life. Just less cartoonish about it.

Which is pretty fucked up.

I’m confused. Wouldn’t transracial just be “mixed”? Like one parent is white, one parent is black.

Mixed baby.

Never heard someone refer to it as “transracial”.

Oh…apperently I’m too evil to be a cashier.

I wouldn’t murder. I would go about my day, without a trace of evidence that I’m even angry.

I’d just come over, help the guy, and take note of his appearance, and the current time. Then I’d head to the back after my shift, and talk to the security guy. I’d make up some reason I have to check the security tapes. But I’d do it in a way that sounds like it’s just buddys being buddies. Nothing suspicious.

Then I’d watch the tape 10 minutes after the encounter. I’d watch the parking lot. See where he goes. Find him getting into his car. Take note the make and model of the car, and the liscense plate.

Now I use public records to track him down. I find out his name, his address, his work, his life. I find out everything I can about him.

Now I hire the biggest musclehead there is. Not to beat him up, but to have an affair with his wife. Make his wife feel properly fucked and orgasm multiple times. Make it a regular thing. All without the wife realizing it’s a ploy.

His marriage ends, as his wife no longer loves him. And NOW the real plan can commence.

I’d hire a woman who looks visually similiar to his wife, but much more dominant. I’d hire her to seduce him, but also take control of their relationship. She’d have him whipped, and play off his emotional insecurity that he would lose her if he doesn’t do what she wants. And she’d get demanding, and have him whipped.

She would eventually take him to an actual dungeon. She’d get him naked, and tied up, laying on his back with his ankles being worn as earrings. And as he’d tied in that position, completely vunerable, that’s when I emerge from the shadows, revealing my master plan for revenge!

Except, it was a forgetable moment, 5 years ago. He has no idea who I am. Doesn’t matter. He’s already in position, and I’ve worked too hard to get this exact moment to where it is.

He’s totally exposed, vunerable, and can’t move.

COMMENCE THE TICKLE TORTURE!!!

…part of me wants to know the middle name. Part of me wonders if that might be doxxing him at that point.

Because middle names are weird, but with a name like Gaylord, he doesn’t have much to risk.

He might be like “Call me Olive!”

And it’s somehow better than being Gaylord in the 80s/90s.

I think I’d just create a persona. Thats what a kid at my school did. His name was Adam, but he was like “Call me, The Jew!”

Not “Jew”, not “The Jew Kid” he specifically called himself “The Jew”. Pro wrestling was popular, and it was like how there was “The Rock”. Except he was “The Jew”.

Then one kid thought it would be funny to come in with a red armband with swastika on it. He asked The Jew if he thought it was funny. And The Jew said no…with his fist. Over and over and over and over. Usually school fights had an honor to them. Kid falls down, you won the fight. You walk away. Anyone tried contining the fight on a downed opponent, and the whole crowd would step in. They’d end the fight for you, and it wouldn’t be good for you.

That didn’t happen here. This kid went down, and The Jew just kept punching him. Over and over and over. For what seemed like forever. Nobody stepped in. Usually during fights, the crowd was rowdy. It was exciting. This was dead silent.

In normal times, The Jew was the most chill laid back easy to get along with guy. It’s 20+ years since I saw him last, and I still remember him and refer to him as that. By his request. So you can kind of get an idea of how he didn’t let things get to him. No ego. Just a good kid really.

When he saw that swastika, he just went off. And everybody had the same silent collective thought. Not to step in, and when teachers get here, we all stand behind The Jew. And we all did. Literally 30 kids all got detention for a month, because not one of us ratted out who beat the fuck out of gary. Eventually the teachers pieced together what happened, when gary came out of the hospital and was able to talk again. We still had to serve detention. Even after they “knew”, we still didn’t talk.

And now, I’ve gotten so sidetracked that I don’t even remember the point of this story. Other than to say fuck nazis. Fuck gary. And fuck anyone who owns a swastika armband. Gary had it coming.

Fuck slipknot!

~Sincerely, a Mushroomhead fan from back in the 90s.

they’ll let your crowd surf, and spray you with fake blood and cum after decapitating an effigy of the current POTUS.

wait…you specified the blood is fake, but not the cum? I’m in!

I don’t see guns on that list.

I also don’t see cow heads. There’s no rule stopping you from slaughtering a cow, decapitating it, and then bringing the still blood dripping head of a cow. Not that anyone WOULD do that. But, ya know…there’s no rule.

Holy shit…being named “Gaylord” in the 80s/90s as a kid?

Fuck.

R.I.P. Gaylord.

May your bullying been short and merciful.

They’ve been doing this for close to 20 years. Ever since shortly after google bought them.