Hey, I might enjoy an adult beverage from time to time, but I am usually not violent (except in video games).

Happens to the best of us…

Sucks that you aren’t even fun without it

Depends on whether you bought puts or sold them.

I eated it

Found the party pooper

Are you saying I got my guillotine out for nothing?

Damn, what’s up with these unrealistic nutritional requirements

It’s all sausage to me.

Slow your roll, Satan

Throws phone out the window

the packaging really hides how obnoxious these things are

No kidding. Have you ever bought a product that was upfront about its shortcomings right on the box?

We already have delivery robots under capitalism, I’m afraid you’ll have to make a better case than that.

No one said it was gonna be easy.

Good news, at this rate it will only take you 3178666666.66667 haircuts to be as rich as Jeff Bezos.

But who will deliver my 2am drunk purchases next day for free? Communists? I didn’t think so.

What sort of herbs and spices would you recommend?

Plenty of people have received far more than that from their dads. There must be something else.

Well-deserved, IMO.

You spent it all on avocado toast, didn’t you.