

If you ever feel so inclined, and want to try again, try blending your weed with hemp (cbd-only).
The strains they have out there these days are designed to maximize thc, but it’s at the cost of balance. Thc and cbd sort of limit each other in a nice way, but modern weed is low on cbd so all you get is the harsh high and none of the calm or relaxation. Lots of people get anxiety from smoking modern weed that never did with classic mods or ditch weed.
If you use just a bit of weed with a bunch of hemp (like 10% weed tops) it’s a lot more like the old-school experience. Very mild and pleasant.
It may not be enough to prevent the panic attacks, idk :( it helped with the smoking anxiety for me, though.
If they were all the same size, perhaps amputee?
Or maybe a really specific fetish.
Maybe both.
Quite possibly a question best left unanswered, at least until you no longer live there