You can be an extremely hot man but if you can’t converse better than “idk lol” and never ask any relevant questions, you’re unlikely to have a good time. People like when potential matches are interested in them.
Your message I’m replying to seems fine, so that’s promising.
Many people go to clubs and meetups to do the thing the club is about. If you go to the bike riding club or bird watching club looking for dates, people are going to pick up on that and probably react unfavorably.
If you go just to do the thing, that’s fine, but you could do that for years without ever finding a date.
I wouldn’t recommend this as a primary means of finding a partner.
Yes and no. Capitalism has lead to shitty experiences for users, but also users self sabotage. It is possible to find success for free, but you’ll probably need to spend time and effort on it.
On the one hand, they are capitalist shit holes. They want to make money, not find you a partner. There’s not enough competition (match group owns a lot of different apps). Those are big factors in why they suck. They’re going to keep asking you to pay for more, and there’s no competition to drive down prices or force innovation. This absolutely sucks and should be changed, but good luck getting the current US government to do anything good.
The other problem is many users are frankly bad at using the apps. They have a blank profile, or one that has no hooks. When they get a message, they dead end the conversation instead of engaging. They ghost.
Don’t be like that. Don’t send generic messages. Have a profile that funnels people into interesting stuff you want to talk about. When the app has a space to write your hobbies, do not write “lol I dunno”. That’s stupid and self sabotage. Write something (true) that gives people an entry point to talk to you. “I really like making pizza! I’m working on perfecting a stuffed crust recipe” is basic but gives them something to talk about. Many people fuck this up and then are like “why does no one send me interesting messages??”. They don’t know you. If you don’t present anything interesting, they’re not going to know.
Once you have the conversation going, ask them out. I’ve heard many people complain about this problem. Guys will match and then text and text and text for days or weeks, and never ask them out. Then they complain “I never get a date!”. Self sabotage. Match, ask a question about their profile, have one or two exchanges, clear any deal breakers (eg: if you’re divorced or have kids), then ask them out. That’s it. That’s the game. People fuck this up and blame the apps.
You don’t need to be mega good looking. That’s just a bullshit self comforting excuse. I used to have a horrible cave man beard and none of my clothing fit right. Still got dates. The bar for men is in hell. If you can converse, be kind, and pay attention to them you’re already ahead of the curve. Getting a good hair cut, clothes that fit, and a good photo helps, but do not think you are immutably unattractive. That’s nonsense.
Your location matters a lot more. If you live in bumblefuck, Wisconsin, where there are 23 people in your age and gender range, you’re going to have a bad time. There’s a special place in hell for people who lie on their profile, though. Don’t say you live in New York when you “might move there some day” or commute in for work.
I never paid for the apps. When I’d use them every day, I could typically get a date a week. Some were just the one date, some lasted weeks, and a couple lasted longer. I’m about 40 and largely unremarkable. You have to put time and effort in. Every day, go through profiles and send quality messages. Most will go nowhere. Don’t be discouraged.
Larger orgs probably have their own website, and could put it there and/or make an RSS feed. That’s old tech, and probably not as popular because it can’t be monetized like twitter/facebook/etc.
There’s also email, which is typically free. It’s less fancy, but it’s also very open. You don’t get good discoverability, though. Some bands I like send out newsletters and that’s how I keep up with them.
Lastly, the fediverse exists. It has some of the problems of social media, but at least it’s not owned by a handful of rich assholes.
I don’t use reddit aside from reading search results. I never post and never explicitly seek it out.
I deleted Twitter years ago. I never used Facebook or Instagram or tiktok. That shit’s bad for you.
It’s annoying that some places will make announcements only on shitty platforms. None of my friends are this “hardcore” , so sometimes I find out about stuff like a concert or protest or whatever because one of them sees it on Instagram
Impeach Johnson, too. Throw them all out via the 14th amendment. I’m so tired of the republicans being consistently the worst people on earth.
I was burgled. The cops came and looked around. Looked for finger prints. Didn’t get anything. The guys who came were polite, at least.
They supposedly caught the guy because he left his wallet at another place he broke into.
I didn’t get my stuff back. They didn’t even try to help me get my stuff back.
Overall a 3/10 experience.
Conservatives don’t want to solve real problems. They’re like toddlers that are angry without understanding anything, but they want to scream and throw things. Broken people.
I know a public defender who’s pretty good.
We should name them in ways that lay the blame on the rich and polluting. “Exxon’s Disgrace”, “Elon’s Deceit”, whatever.
And when I expand the attached image and read the tiny print, I see you already went down this road. Well done.
Unless Israel is going to be a new borough of new york city, I don’t see why it should be a top concern for the mayor.
“Do we have bike lanes?”, contrary wise, would be.
Sadly, they make a ton of money from AWS (amazon web services). A large portion of the internet relies on it. It’s difficult or impossible to avoid using any amazon services. Like, you use a website and their backend uses s3 and rds. No way for you to know, much of the time.
I avoid shopping on amazon anyway, but the problem is wider spread.
CrossCode has such charm. The puzzles are good, but I find myself tired after playing it in a way other games don’t give me. I should finish it.
Shadowrun for Genesis was amazing! Ahead of its time. The way it semi randomly generated jobs for you to do was pretty unique. Like Bethesda radiant quests, but decades earlier and better. I really enjoyed rising up from the weakest street runner to someone with enough reputation to skip the line at the expensive club.
The leveling system was also pretty advanced for Genesis.
Also the cyberspace hacking was wacky and fun.
Just off the top of my head
That’s a big part of it. There’s also a lot of ignorance and stupidity.
They’ll be like “I don’t want government in health care” but also want Medicare and Medicaid.
It’s kind of baffling to me. All of my friends are to some degree engaged in politics. But there are probably whole chunks of society that just brain rot through the day looking at memes and don’t really think about anything.
I think I kind of radicalized one of the guys I worked with just by talking to him about broad strokes of history and labor. If instead of me they had hired some bland “don’t talk about anything” standard guy, he might not have learned much. Talking to people can help.
Right. The robbery example is close to mind because someone broke into my house once, and they stole my partner at the time’s work laptop. We needed the police report to give to their workplace (I guess so they’d believe us it was stolen, or so their insurance would believe us). It was a bad situation, but it could’ve been worse if the police were like “Sorry, you’re not a subscriber”.
They did eventually catch the guy, but we didn’t get our stuff back. I don’t think they made any effort to return it. I think we both agree that the current system is really bad.
Simpsons meme where homer’s like “The worst day of your life so far”
At least right now if someone breaks into my house, I don’t have to pay the police to come make a report or whatever.
But to your point, the current state of things is also really bad, yes.
Republicans are an existential threat. No republican should be allowed to hold office. They should be ashamed to show their faces in public. Someone revealing they’re a republican should get the same reception as someone saying “I kick puppies”. (Though, given some high ranking republican is out and proud about shooting a puppy, maybe I should find a new metaphor)