I feel like you get me.

That’s what cold storage is for.

And everything’s cool in the mind of a gangsta

We have something similar: we’d say someone is “all bark, no bite”.

Ay caramba, no need to call me out like that

Solves all problems.

cries in irritable bowel syndrome

Great advice tho

Track your calories, macros, and any micronutrients that you’re concerned about (e.g., sodium, fiber). Set a goal and stick to it. I use the LoseIt app and a digital kitchen scale.

Drink a lot of water. Half your body weight (in lbs) in ounces. So if you weigh 130 lbs, drink 130 ÷ 2 = 65 oz of water daily. This is your baseline; add more for exercise. Don’t go overboard because too much water is bad for you.

Aim for 45-60 minutes of vigorous exercise 3-4 times a week. I like weightlifting for this. On the other days, be active, but don’t push yourself too much. You need rest for recovery.

After your workouts, don’t eat back all your calories, but do consider having something protein-heavy.

Sleep. I can’t emphasize enough how important sleep is. Try to get 7-8 hours every night. This is the hardest one for me personally; I don’t have a ton of advice. But developing a bedtime routine helps.

Weigh yourself every day first thing in the morning, after you’ve used the bathroom and before you’ve had anything to eat or drink, with no clothes on. I like my Withings scale because the app tracks my measurements over time.

Have a mindset of lifestyle change - otherwise, if you go back to old habits, you’re likely to gain back any weight you lose.

Good luck!

Yeah I love my Withings scale

No idea. My uncle Joe has dwarfism and he makes a mean bowl of Count Chocula.

Mexico’s Gulf of Fuck America

Ooh, I didn’t see zombies as a possible outcome

That’s not exclusively British.

Whaaat? His voice is awesome. They just sing in two very different styles.

You miss the war criminal?

I’m not sure, and I know it depends both on the severity of a person’s IBS and the type of magnesium supplement. But I drink a ton of water so I’d hate to have it supplemented with magnesium!

Magnesium can cause diarrhea so, as someone with IBS, no fucking thanks.

Oh great, good luck getting that outta my head!

No, it’s Jean Luc Picard in a Professor X costume.

Homie, enjoy your incoming hemorrhoid, you’ve earned it.