Image a crab.

Oh that’s why it’s called Operation Clambake.

Have you ever seen a calzone?

Thirteen furries just had an aneurysm.

how many ways can you really communicate with a cell tower?

Analog encoding assigns each device in a cell its own frequency range.

Time-domain multiplexing assigns each device a fraction of a second to transmit.

Quadrature phase-shift keying alters the timing of a signal to convey data.

Orthogonal frequency-division multiplexing has each device transmit the same signal over P out of Q bands, such that each device’s signal can be reconstructed by knowing which bands it transmitted on.

There’s a fucking reason your phone is faster now than in 2010.

How cell phones work is ridiculously complicated. Going from analog, to time-domain shenanigans, to binary wizard math, is why you can watch 720p video and whine that it’s not 1080p.

Yeah sometimes that neuron hasn’t fired in a while.

There’s an Ahoy video about tracker music, and when it played the first three notes of “Foregone Destruction,” that fucker released aaall the good chemicals.

Wackiki Wabbit. Set on Humuhumunukunukuapua’a’a’a Island.

We had the second Care Bears movie on the same VHS tape as A Wish For Wings That Work, the Bloom County adaptation briefly featuring Robin Williams as “Sudy Nim.”

Dark Heart might’ve been a bisexual awakening.

It was fine, if it ran.

Windows XP wasn’t even secure and reliable, at the time. At this point it’s indistinguishable from keeping Windows 95 on a full tower from Gateway because nothing else supports your vintage scanner. You’re one step from the tech-priests waving incense as a ritual against crashing.

That’s just what he does.

Troll harder.

If you’re still explaining this after a century and a half - pick better words, already.

This is woosh limbo.

You had to crawl to let this point miss you.

In English, distinguishing those two symbols has become an affectation. The straight "" style is all anyone actually types, and it’s unremarkable to see that style rendered or printed.

The length of a dash is even less important than that. Any style guide that’s insistent about it might as well demand you type movie names in a different font. Can it be done? Sure. Does it have semantic value? Maybe. But the only people who’d care also know how to pronounce LaTeX.

This is the language that abandoned an entire letter because it was hard to print.

Three Jaffa warriors meet on a neutral planet.

The em dash as a concept is a relic. People now communicate those uses with a dash between spaces, or with two dashes.

It’s like worrying which direction your quotation marks curl. They don’t.

That would be an ecumenical matter!

The killer was misled by bugs?