Okay I believe you

I wish I were that goat

I want you to know that at least one person fell for this

She ain’t have no nipppppleeees!

As a former driver I agree. I always feel bad about the tip thing but gas is so expensive and the apps pay like shit despite charging so many fees. And knowing that restaurants also pay a fee meaning the apps get MORE money is even more infuriating.

FUCK… oh wait force of habit

This is where being forgetful comes in handy because you can just forget that you’re overthinking

They mean save certain kinds of people

I kept reading that as librarian

Now I’m scared to eat potatoes what if it grows in my stomach

Cake is great for breakfast

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The transition to a better job makes this so much harder

Yeah I thought it was mostly other Americans saying these things

Can confirm not wearing pants and magically got another tattoo

Me right now

She looks like a gross pig

I do this when I’m stressed asf because sleep won’t help anyways