Knock knock

Who’s there?

Who.

Who who?

You’re making a good owl!

My parents told me this was my favorite joke when I was around your daughter’s age. Apparently I used the joke non-stop and my parents still laughed every time because of how much I cracked up at my own joke.

People who don’t return their cart to the cart corral in the grocery store parking lot

Feeling your butt cheeks on the toilet seat just before you lose the battle to hold everything in.

Ned is a lucky bastard, I’ve never gotten to hold more than two kittens at the same time.

What about races where all candidates are hirsute?

• in my jurisdiction, you have to meet certain criteria to be eligible for a mail in ballot, they don’t just get handed out willy nilly
• i don’t trust the post office with anything vitally important, like a ballot or money
• the early voting place is pretty close to my work, close enough that i hit it up a week and change ago on my lunch break

What are the odds of Nebraska Spiderman tweaking his costume to use the same shade of red as NU?

Don’t they each win like ten cents or something?

Lol I didn’t realize that the pankakke version wasn’t the original.

It’s a tongue in cheek way of referring to neurodivergence. The same way that someone might refer to neurotypical as neurobland.

Not having any signs or traits of being neurospicy

I <3 Tamago

<3 Bitty

Do you have a recent picture of her you’re willing to share?

Weapon safety rule number 3 Mr Spock: keep your finger straight and off the trigger until you’re ready to fire.

You may be a Vulcan but I will still kick you off my firing range if you don’t unfuck yourself.

I once drove drunk. This was long enough ago the statute of limitations has expired. I shouldn’t have done it, I was really lucky that I didn’t hurt someone or get arrested. For the next 15ish years that I still drank, my limit was 1 drink if I was driving.

This was before Uber & Lyft were a thing, but I still could’ve made arrangements with the bar manager “look dude your bartenders kept serving me when I was visibly drunk, so let me leave my car here overnight without towing it so I can take a cab home, and I won’t say shit to anyone.”

“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness… that is life.”

Thanks for finding & sharing the original, it’s a lot less gross than the caption supplied on this post.

Any idea what the original caption was?

Apology was for people offended by an aquarium using teen slang to connect with today’s youth.

Lol. I was on that site for under a month total, before the plague. All it did was get me angry all the time and I miss it like I’d miss a case of the clap.