Who the fuck shaves and drives? You’re just making shit up now

He always grimaces like there’s a cactus in his anus. That’s probably what it feels like to be so far removed form reality like he is

It’s like he’s halfway through a shit

This is the shitpostiest shitpost to ever have been shitposted. Bravo

If god was real, the sky would open up and he’d smush this stupid fuck for using his namesake to spread lies, fear, and bullshit

“Howler monkey howls the word ‘rape’, zookeepers impressed it learned human words and go about their business”

Brain-dead response. That isn’t even procrastinating. What are we procrastinating here, chastity? Release is good for you.

I was in 5th grade, and I had filled a notebook with questions about the bible and how passages in it contradicted modern science, as well as a bunch of passages from the bible that directly contradicted eachother. My parents took me to a bunch of different christian “scholars” and pastors and none could answer a single question in my notebook, other than “have faith.” It was then that I realized there was probably no god and the bible was a bunch of bullshit. And maybe there is a god, I am not against the idea, but I have still not to this day ever seen or heard empirical evidence that would lead me to believe there is one. Telling your kids they will burn in hell for eternity if they don’t believe in a mystical being is pretty fucked up. I had serious nightmares growing up about what would happen to me in hell. Talk about brainwashing.

Damn I need to go to Panera

Jack it, then you can sleep again

I lucked out because I was left with a movie like this but VHS tapes have to be rewound once they are over and we didn’t have any of those fancy fucking auto rewinders, that was rich folk stuff

If you stick with it, yea

Fair enough, especially considering it’s basically impossible for most normal people

Yeah about as much as masturbating feels like holding a dick. The good feelings outweigh the sexual fragility usually.

Always kill the same person

Trying? Succeeding. Yoga does wonders for flexibility

For sure. I guess all Pokemon are sadists at heart

Oh right, they love getting beaten to the point of losing consciousness, I forgot the Pokemon company buried that in there

No, Pokemon are forced to beat the snot out of eachother and then shoved back into a tiny ball

It’s never truly to the death though, even if they get yeeted into oblivion they just respawn. They are immortal beings