Front right wallet
Front left phone
Keys on a carabiner hang from my rear right belt loop

Why not combine your car keys with your house keys so you can’t drive off without them?

Nice try fbi you’re not getting me that easy to give up my keys

and only four walk-ins a day on certain days of which people show up an hour before the post office opens to try and get one of those spots, then they sit in camper chairs until about 3pm to be seen. and they mail you the passport so you cant just pick it up at the post office. you could also go through a third party to get you a reservation sooner than 6months somehow, they also redo all your paperwork to justify paying them I guess but that quick reservation is the key

here is a cool article on a few different jobs lost with photos https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/jobs-that-no-longer-exist/

my favorite is the human alarm clock and went and shot your window with a pea shooter to wake you up

Did you rob a knife store and created your own crime scene to make the knives free?

the soccer guy? he is a beast with penalty kicks, hope his head feels ok

Just tear down this wall

Use those paper toilet seat covers so you don’t sit right on someone else’s butt cheek grease

I thought that’s so you can throw picks at the audience

I thought you don’t need a VPN for things like usenet

Wow humans are awful

Fight to urge to blend someone to see if it tastes good

I mean they found a body so I assume it wasn’t that great

That’s a great game, have you played part 2

I feel like black is already an off putting color for a liquid that you are going to consume haha but people got used to it so they’d probably get used to a yellowy drink. But I guess it’s already terrible for you so what’s another dosage of food colouring on top of it

But then how will the kids be able to watch ads to get coins for games during class time

People snap sometimes we had a coworker who was pretty nice but had this thing with people talking loudly. One day he just went nuts and screamed at an engineer and tech who were talking then he walked out to his car. The tech panicked thinking he was going to get a weapon so he ran to hr who came with security to walk out that guy. He already knew what was going to happen since he had already come back and packed up his things

I never understood why they make it black. Just let it look how it would look without all the food coloring

Go outside and start pouring gasoline on the building