Shit! I had it all wrong! Okay but now that the rapture is over and not gonna happen anymore, then maybe everyone can go back to their regularly scheduled Friday?

WTF! I missed it? Did every single Jehovah’s witness drink the juice so they could fly into the spaceship or what? Postponed?

Ok we gotta get this to work. But first questions first. Are you now or have you ever been a hottie? If male, is your penis at least 7.5"? These are very important questions. She’s a hottie but it doesn’t matter because you’re supposed to love me, not her. But she’s supposed to love you. Can you sign the backstreet boys songs? Or the songs from Pink? Are you a gambler but you keep your cool and regularly make a ton of money in the stock market? Anyway, as for me, I got the sad bod going. I’m not too tall, not too short, 6" penis. I’m at a good age. And I love to be loved. And I love to love. So we will definitely click. Man, this is going great 😃. So yeah, tell us which end you’ll need from me and which end she can get from you! LOL.

Sounds like a plan!

The crutch full of glue finally catches me and then I’m stuck to it and then I wake up doctor… doctor? 💤. Ok I’ll come back tomorrow.

Nobody said how big.

I drive by the Boeing strike every day and I do my part and I hunk twice quickly! Do your part guys! Hunk! It matters!

It’s not your job today, but it could be you there tomorrow at 8am wet and soggy from the rain and fog that continually falls in the PNW.

Honk like you just crashed on that big barrel of stuff burning. They burn stuff to stay dry and warm. It’s cold out here…not yet but give two more months and it will be freezing temps.

Did you drop the glue on your crotch too in first grade? That’s going to hunt me forever.

It’s a misdemeanor, let him go! If he tries it again, let’s all together figure out what to do. But for the love of gorsh, leave his second amendment intact!

Hollywood is going to make that soo dramatic! Extending the 4 nano second event into what might seem like an eternity…4 seconds tops…“Actually guys, I think we might have a…”…silence. such a Sumner moment. Oh hey, can we get rid of putin? I have an idea but we’re going to need lots of toilet paper, concrete, rope, and a baseball bat! Oh this is gonna be so good! Pinatas are fun! And a tranquilizer dart! We need that or the paper won’t stick. You don’t want a mushy pinata!

O is for opple! P is for prange! A is for Aree! Sikibi dibi deeee!

6 months. If after 6 months of sitting on your ass you can’t tell right from wrong, fuck you, you’re out…let me demonstrate… Epstein: pedophile. That was like 3 milliseconds… Trump: shit get rid of him he’s all sorts of wrong ew! Ew! That was like 3 nanoseconds. Should women get to choose? Yes. That was a no brainier. Juanita’s tree is growing over the neighbors yard and the neighbor keeps eating the apples…ohhh there’s precedent here. I must research…yes it’s totally legal. Juanita must not know much about trees because she planted it too close to the fence. That was complicated, 3 seconds, I will need 6 months to recover and continue judging these cases, thanks!

Chat GPT is listening…tell it more of this science you guys talk about.

A pager is a rectangular device which is able to display the phone number of someone calling your number. Several thousand years ago all cave men wanted to get one. They instead drew paintings on walls by spitting chewed chemicals from their mouth. Later on we indeed had some which made people look way smarter and important than they really were. Now we have cellphones which can transfer billions upon billions of phone number worths of text and image spam and ads. Sometimes people send their cave paintings to one another. But they are strictly for the purpose of sending ads for things we should buy to prevent the economy from collapsing under the rich and powerful.

“his kind” I a agree with that…Hitler, Putin, the Spanish kings, the Federalism kings, the various Chinese rulers that ended in massacres same for the Japanese. The Egypt old assholes and their new assholes. The Mexican government and the drug lords who rule Mexico and South America. Trump, George Bush. Sadam Hussain, fuck face who ended up under the sea like the little mermaid from the Taliban. Etc etc. it’s a sea of just asshole after asshole. I agree with you. As soon as a leader seems off, the constitutions should allow the people to swiftly remove them. There are plenty of brilliant minds around, there’s no need to put forward the worst ones.

Best auto correct ever! LOL Republicans! Assemble! Shit it down! Shit it down now! Now before anyone could benefit from any of the poor services provided by the fed via our tax dollars.

Also, why doesn’t most of McConnell just blow as dust in the wind yet? How do I get whatever he got instead of cremation? That guy is mummy old as heck.

😂😆 LOL! Please guys I’m begging 🙏! Don’t 😂😆 LOL! Don’t shut the government! Don’t! LOL… Oh fuck LOL 😅😆. Don’t 😂. Psych! Shit it down now! Let the record show that it was me who said that too… wouldn’t want to republican this bitch real gud and not take ownersh…no, what’s the word!? Department of education!

Oh shit… Let me call the police about this! Sure thing! Right away!

Wait a minute!

LOL! You think I’m that stupid? You call them! Here, take my phone! I’m just gonna go hide behind that 1" thick steel wall! Oh, should we just run over to the station? It’s safer that way.

Let’s use the car as an example… Imagine you must get to point B from point A following all the rules of the road which prevent the 🚓 🚨 police from chasing you and shooting you until they run out of bullets. Well then you will be on highway 5 at some point if you’re in California, so let’s assume you can’t go faster than 85mph but at 5pm or 8am you can only go 2mph. So why would you buy a car that can drive at 5000mph is you don’t want to? I totally agree with you on that point. Why eat ice cream 🍨🍦 if I don’t want to…and it costs 10billion times more than not actually eating ice cream?

Same for cpus. Why get a new CPU if they put some bullshit things in it that your Linux can’t use because they are made specifically for windows 11 and no one wants to use windows 11. Friends don’t let friends use windows 11. Heck I wouldn’t drive over a cat and then let the cat get windows 11. Only let the people you hate the most actually get windows 11. Like your boss. Fuck him. Let him get windows 11!