• TrenchcoatFullOfBatsA
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    12 days ago

    The Thieves Guild punchcard: Get 12 muggings and the 13th converts your mugging to a light burgling at the address of your choice! [*]

    [*] You must present your punchcard before physical violence begins. If the address to be burgled is a police station, the next mugging will be upgraded to murder. Management takes 75% of all tips. Do not make Management sad. You wouldn’t like Management when it is sad.

    • CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world
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      12 days ago

      Addendum, The establishment known as ‘The Bucket’ on Gleam street is considered a police station for the purposes of this punch card.

    • gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      12 days ago

      That first bit reads so much like Pratchett

      If it’s not then props, it reads almost exactly like a line from one of the Night Watch books would

      • TrenchcoatFullOfBatsA
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        12 days ago

        That’s exactly what I was going for, but I changed watch house to police station for the non-Discworld enthusiasts.

      • ggppjj@lemmy.world
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        12 days ago

        It really sounds like something that Mr. Pin and Mr. Tulip heard from a guild member in The Truth, but I can’t find the reference exactly.