I’m 19M, my girlfriend is 17F. We’ve been dating for almost a year now. Her family has no idea though, because she refuses to tell them; and it honestly hurts. My family loves her. Her family’s Muslim and she says that’s the reason she can’t tell them yet, but she will… eventually. I get that they’re Muslim, but come on, we live in the West and it’s a free country. I’ve never pressured her about it but it still upsets me.
Jesus fucking christ.
First off, at worst, anyone is going to murder anyone. You clearly have never dated someone and met their father who was on the edge of murder.
Second, at best they won’t be happy? So according to you, every single muslim hates their child dating someone who isn’t muslim and won’t be happy? Guess I better tell that to literally every muslim I’ve dated whose parents didn’t give a solitary shit and were actively supportive of their gay kid. Or my friends who’ve dated/married muslims and were accepted into the families while being Jewish or Atheist or Protestant.
What is this racist/islamophobic bullshit? Fuck off, dude.
(Edit: Islamophobia is considered a subset of racism but nonetheless I added it on its own)
Edit 2: Downvote me all you want. Your value as a human is equivalent to the value you give other humans so I’m really not concerned with what the fuck you think.
The fact that the girlfriend doesn’t want to tell her family is kind of a hint that they won’t be happy about the relationship. So being upset is kind of the best outcome in this situation.
It’s nice that you and also I have met nice muslims who encouraged their kids do love whoever they want. In this specific scenario I would trust the girlfriend though, because she knows her family better than us.
Okay. Not sure what your comment has to do with me calling this dude out for being bigoted though. None of that is “permission” to be bigoted.
Not engaging with any other part of your comment, but is Islam a race, now? I thought it was a religion.
Islamophobia is considered a subset of racism.
Source 1
Source 2
Source 3
Race and religion are fundamentally different, one is a trait you’re born with that you have no control over, the other is a (potentially harmful) ideology, which you have the power to distance yourself from. I’m sick of this “you need to respect everyone’s religion” bullshit. No, I cannot respect an ideology which promotes stoning gays, and anyone who does is a moron.
Tell that to every gay muslim who can’t speak out.
It’s so frustrating constantly seeing people use the “Muslims stoning gay men to death” thing while never thinking about those gay men other than as a fucking scapegoat.
As for your shit about one is a trait you’re born with that you have no control over… You think that doesn’t apply to religion? You think that a dude born in the middle of Saudi Arabia is going to get a say on what religion he grows up under?
Yes. Religion has problems. Many fucking problems. But handwaving it away as something that you have no control over is a minimization of reality and a fundamental demonstration that you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.
Don’t use us gay folk as an example for your hatred when you don’t care about the gay folks INSIDE of that group. Things are not as black and white as you want to believe that they are.
And all of that without bothering to point out that you’re being just as bigoted by acting like every single Muslim is absolutely the same.
Well yes, the whole situation is complicated, I don’t advocate hatred towards religious people, I just think that religion should be criticised like any other ideology, and eventually left behind by society. I think that every person should have the privilege of growing up in a society that isn’t hateful and given the kind of education that would allow them to form their own beliefs, not just blindly inherit them. Sadly we are still far from that.
I used that as an example because it was the first thing that came to mind, I could have used any of the other million religious beliefs I disagree with, this isn’t about people, it’s about ideas
It isn’t complicated.
I responded to a dude who was being openly discriminatory and you responded in such a way to say “No, I’m allowed to discriminate because nonsensical reasoning.”
It is as simple as the fact that you are a hateful bigot.
This basically reduces to some paradox of tolerance type shit, I’m a bigot because I discriminate against bigotry? Ok.
First, religion is not a race. Second, I’m from place where muslims (very secular ones at it) are significant minority. Third, I’ve been in the situation outlined, and heard of similar from people in this situation.
Also there were at least two religiously minded honor killings that I know of one involved tatar (muslim) family, another cyhan (christian) family.
Might want to educate yourself on what racism is because Islamophobia is considered a subset of racism. Source 1, Source 2, Source 3.
Which is irrelevant unless OP lives in the same area you’re from. You also did not clarify that and spoke about Muslims as a whole, you did not clarify level of secularity.
I doubt anecdotal evidence from you personally is reflective of reality in your area, nevermind world wide.
And again, anecdotal evidence from your specific area. That isn’t reflective of reality and it is racist as shit for you to go “My experiences reflect reality as a whole.”
So. I say again. What is this racist bullshit? Fuck off, dude.
Sometime I forget that wrongthink is not allowed around lemmy. You are perfectly fine with giving right answer even if it can bring horrible result.
Make up whatever narrative you want in order to protect your ego.
You’re just a bigot.
I don’t think anyone who mentions that honor killings are a thing is saying that. Honor killings have been recognized by amnesty international as being a distinct threat to women worldwide that is present in America as well specific to Muslim majority countries in the Middle East and Asia.
I think any child has the potential of being killed by their angry parents, it’s happened very frequently from people of all backgrounds, but it’s ok to admit that a Muslim girl who doesn’t want to introduce you to her parents could be motivated by the fear of death or abuse in a very specific way. And i think it’s ok to tell this kid that this is a possible additional pressure based on her culture.
But it’s fair to say this has happened like a half dozen times in the US in two decades. That might feel like a lot, but considering the sheer number of Muslims who live in this country, that might as not happen at all.
I can keep both of these ideas in my head at the same time and not have a weird, knee-jerk meltdown in the comments!