Son is 16, best friend is 17, they go to the same high school. Best friend’s family’s wealthy. He bought son a brand new iPhone 16 Pro Max & a pair of AirPods Pro 2, so they can “match”. Son’s obviously very happy, but I think it’s a bit too much. I called the parents and they said it’s fine, it’s just pocket change.
I’m glad you’re involved enough to know this and care about it. I’m 44 and have no kids, so take this with a huge grain of salt… But I’d probably let my kid keep it. At 16 you can just sit them down and have a talk with them about it. (And it sounds like you have.) Let them know this means his friend’s family has money that he does not, and you do not.
Let him know that he shouldn’t take advantage of his friend’s cavalier attitude and kindness, nor should he let his friend’s familial wealth pressure him. He should appreciate this, but not expect it, or feel guilty about it. And let him know this is a complex thing, and if they need to talk about it, it’s better they approach you to talk about it early rather than late.
Underscore that this is squarely his friend’s parents money, not his friend’s. It can come and go at any time, and that’s okay. Value the friendship more than the money, and if that changes, don’t accept such gifts.
My folks would invite a cousin my age over for the night before Christmas when we were all in our mid teens. The next morning he would things like clothes, shoes, and an electric razor; things a young guy needs. My folks were not rich, just lower middle class and able to help out. It’s a different situation than you’re in. But if this family of your child’s friend has money and wants to spread the love and is capable of doing so in an adult and healthy way, I personally think 16 is an age at which someone can begin to deal with the complex dynamics of monetary differences.
You know your kid better than us strangers online. And remember, they also have you on their side. Growing up is going to be difficult anyway. Just be there for them when they need it, and they’ll probably be fine.
Edit: And also maybe get to know the other set of parents better. Explain to them you’re appreciative of their kindness, and so does your son, but that your concern is just that you don’t want it to create an awkward dynamic between your children in the future. Again 16 is young adult, but still a kid, so I understand your concern. They probably will to.