Chuck Tingle is the master of satire erotica, my personal favorite is “Trans Wizard Harriet Porber And The Bad Boy Parasaurolophus.”

Suddenly, there is a deafeningly loud crackle of lighting in front of me, causing me to nearly fall out of my seat as I let out a cry of surprise. Floating some two or three feet above the sidewalk is a black and blue seam of electricity, a hovering slit in the fabric of space and time that pours outward with a sizzling heat.

“Alex!” calls a voice from beyond the strange universal rift. I can barely make out the figures shape, but it appears to be a massive, sentient coin; one pound to be exact.

“Hello?” I question, shielding my eyes from the electrical storm that appears to be occurring right before me. “Who are you?”

“There’s no time!” yells the giant coin from the other side of the rift. “Come with me!”

I’m utterly horrified and, if I’m going to be honest, my first instinct is to immediately turn around and run away. It’s only then that I notice something brilliant and burning through the hole in space-time. Within the rift I can see The Parliament, or what used to be The Parliament, as the entire building roars with a towering flame.

“Is that what it looks like?” I call out.

“Yes!” screams the giant sentient coin. “We need your help, Alex. I can’t hold this open much longer!”

Suddenly, all of the fear leaves and is replaced with a powerful, frantic energy. Britain needs me!

Without another thought, I jump up from the bench and run forward, diving through the trans universal slice and ending up carried to a hellish landscape of fire and smoke on the other side.

“Where am I?” I ask this mysterious pound. “What’s happening?”

“You’re in the future,” explains the giant sentient monetary instrument, “but it’s not safe here. Follow me!”