When I was a kid, I was punished excessively. My diagnosis occurred when I was 25. In the 1980s, I got paddled every day at school and was punished constantly. It made me feel rejected, leading to rejection sensitivity dysphoria. By the time I was 9, I decided life was not worth living and have not changed my mind at 45 years old. I would never have a child to suffer the way I did. I still feel like nobody wants me around. My mental health issues have severely impacted my quality of life. I’m just now figuring out that this might be why I have never felt my clock tick, or thought for even a second of my life that I wanted kids.
Has this happened to anyone else? I wonder how many in this forum might have decided against parenthood due to ADHD effects without realizing it.
While this is a side effect of the trauma precipitated by people treating you badly due to your ADHD, and depression is common with ADHD… this level of depression is not inherent to ADHD, and I’d posit that the depression type stuff has more to do with your feelings on children than your ADHD directly does.
I think there’s a lot of people choosing not to have children due to depression and other issues of mental health leading them to feel like bringing a child into this world would be cruel.
Mid 30s, ADHD diagnosis when I was six, been on the same meds for it since 18. Medicated for depression starting around a decade ago. Medicated for anxiety for around five years. Narcisist ADHD mother, neglectful ADHD father (both undiagnosed). Grandfather was highly likely autistic.
Two year old daughter and another on the way. Determined not to repeat my parent’s mistakes and abuse. Daughter is the light of my life, best decision I’ve ever made.
Some of us have shit genetics. Yeah I’m 6 feet tall, strong as an ox, etc, but the mental issues that were handed to me I would never want to pass on. Both my parents died in their early 60s.
With the executive dysfunction I have combined with clinical depression and being short on work, most days I don’t even bother to take a shower.
As the father of a recently-diagnosed ADHD daughter… Stay strong 😅 it’s still rewarding but there may be times where you’re tempted to question your resolve