The Belfry
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
fossilesque@mander.xyz to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 day ago

Man left with a broken arm because of the size of his penis

www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk

external-link
message-square
123
fedilink
245
external-link

Man left with a broken arm because of the size of his penis

www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk

fossilesque@mander.xyz to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 day ago
message-square
123
fedilink
Matt, 41, from London had to cancel his holiday because of the injury
  • cjoll4@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    156
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    edit-2
    1 day ago

    Matt said: “It was a very embarrassing accident. One of the issues with being so large, especially in hot water showers, is that it’s not exactly easy to see my feet.

    “Especially when I move too fast, it can definitely mess with my balance, too. As I was rushing to get ready for work, I didn’t see the excess shower gel in the tub because my penis was the only thing in my eye line.

    Right, because a fifteen-inch penis is totally going to obstruct your view of both feet and everything else below your waistline, and your dick is totally the reason you clumsily slipped. And you totally aren’t looking for every possible excuse to turn any event of your life into another opportunity to brag about your massive, record-breaking schlong.

    🙄

    • Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      1 day ago

      He just likes to brag & isn’t evolved enough to have a detachable penis.

      • ImADifferentBird@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        19 hours ago

        He does, however, have an enormous penis

        • Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          edit-2
          18 hours ago

          Anyone can acquire an enormous penis & just have it on display somewhere to soothe your day.

      • cjoll4@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        24 hours ago

        What a blast from the past!

        • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          18 hours ago

          I don’t even have to clock the link, and King Missile is now playing the hits in my head. 🤘🏼

          edit: leaving it, as-is

    • Heikki2@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      32
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 day ago

      If mine was that big, I’d probably just stare it, too.

      Also Tom Segura has a bit about seeing a guy with a large penis

      • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        14
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 day ago

        While I appreciate the link, I am absolutely not having that in my watch history. I really don’t want recommendations based on…whatever that is

        • PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          20 hours ago

          Yeah Tom Segura, yuck

        • tedd_deireadh@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          22
          ·
          1 day ago

          Oh, c’mon! Where’s your sense of adventure?

          • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            13
            ·
            1 day ago

            It died when my bones started to creak

            • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              18 hours ago

              Mr. Glass?

              • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                17 hours ago

                Feels like it sometimes, ngl

                Old age is probably worse, but middle age sucks

    • tisktisk@piefed.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      15
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      1 day ago

      It takes one to know one, and buddy…you’re not that guy

      • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        18 hours ago

        Thankfully, neither am I. 😅😶

    • Evil Edgelord@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      1 day ago

      That sounds suspiciously jealous 😏

      • happyfullfridge@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        12
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 day ago

        I’m 100% sure you cannot get an erection if it’s that long, not enough blood in the body to supply it. You should probably get a surgery to make it smaller if you have this

        • lost_faith@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          16 hours ago

          Nah, you wanna blood dope

        • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          18 hours ago

          Thanks, Doc.

Not The Onion@lemmy.world

nottheonion@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !nottheonion@lemmy.world

Welcome

We’re not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from…
  2. …credible sources, with…
  3. …their original headlines, that…
  4. …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 1.67K users / day
  • 4.09K users / week
  • 8.49K users / month
  • 20K users / 6 months
  • 1 local subscriber
  • 17.6K subscribers
  • 1.51K Posts
  • 48.8K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • kescusay@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.5
  • Modlog
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org