To live is to cringe. There really is no antidote.
What happened to, um… JoCat? So many people were mad about the girls animation that they bullied him off the internet for a bit, and only after he was gone were they like “I agree with the cartoon, I just don’t like people knowing that about me.”
If you don’t mind me asking, what do you find embarrassing about building a sick-ass fuckin’ rube goldberg machine? I really can’t imagine somebody doing that without joy.
Building the machine wasn’t embarrassing, getting all animated and excited around other humans was embarrassing. I know it isn’t. I know that isn’t normal. I don’t know why I have that reaction later on, other than when I was a kid other kids made fun of me whenever I did. Like, if I ever got excited and hyper or something other kids would laugh and make comments about I was fat and it I moved around I’d jiggle. Shit like that. It made me end up with basically the mindset that I need to be stoic all the fucking time unless I’m very close to someone. The friend I visited has been one of my best for 20 years (online/phone), and his friend and I clicked so fast that my barriers sort of dropped unexpectedly, and I ended up getting really excited and animated. Basically I leave situations like that feeling like I’ve made a fool of myself. A fat, ugly fool.
Well, I’m sure you know there’s no getting out of this prison without banging at the walls, right? :p I only learned to sing by challenging myself to be uncomfortable.
Do you find that it’s easier if you talk to people later and they’re like “no, I didn’t think anything was weird; it was a joy to be around you!” or is it like a “your brain wouldn’t believe them anyway” kind of thing?
To live is to cringe. There really is no antidote.
What happened to, um… JoCat? So many people were mad about the girls animation that they bullied him off the internet for a bit, and only after he was gone were they like “I agree with the cartoon, I just don’t like people knowing that about me.”
If you don’t mind me asking, what do you find embarrassing about building a sick-ass fuckin’ rube goldberg machine? I really can’t imagine somebody doing that without joy.
Building the machine wasn’t embarrassing, getting all animated and excited around other humans was embarrassing. I know it isn’t. I know that isn’t normal. I don’t know why I have that reaction later on, other than when I was a kid other kids made fun of me whenever I did. Like, if I ever got excited and hyper or something other kids would laugh and make comments about I was fat and it I moved around I’d jiggle. Shit like that. It made me end up with basically the mindset that I need to be stoic all the fucking time unless I’m very close to someone. The friend I visited has been one of my best for 20 years (online/phone), and his friend and I clicked so fast that my barriers sort of dropped unexpectedly, and I ended up getting really excited and animated. Basically I leave situations like that feeling like I’ve made a fool of myself. A fat, ugly fool.
Our brains suck sometimes
Hm. Yeah, that’s a deep well to climb out of.
Well, I’m sure you know there’s no getting out of this prison without banging at the walls, right? :p I only learned to sing by challenging myself to be uncomfortable.
Do you find that it’s easier if you talk to people later and they’re like “no, I didn’t think anything was weird; it was a joy to be around you!” or is it like a “your brain wouldn’t believe them anyway” kind of thing?