The illusion of control, even with its misplaced guilt, is easier to process than the chaotic truth that no one is in control. Everyone is making it up as they go and pretending there’s a plan. Even when there is a plan, it invariably falls apart when you attempt to implement it in reality. Too many variables. Too much chaos.

You turn away from the chaos by creating a fictitious order in your head, then blame yourself when reality happens instead of fiction.