I have been propositioned by swingers quite a bit. It’s to the point that if a couple is nice to me, I start getting suspicious. This has happened with acquaintances, long-time friends, people I’ve met at a party, co-workers, and even strangers at the beach. Three times that I can remember off the top of my head, they propositioned me and my girlfriend at the time (separate girls many years apart). Is this a normal thing? What about me could make me attractive to swinger couples?
I’m a cis-gendered straight male. As far as physical attractiveness, I would say I’m slightly above average based on what women have told me and how they treat me.
When I was late teens and early twenties, I kept getting propositioned by gay guys. It started to bother me - I’ve never been in any way homophobic, but I’ve also never been attracted to men - and I started to worry that there was some vibe I gave off that made people think I was gay.
Then I mentioned it to a gay guy who I knew, and he said that the vibe I give off is of someone who isn’t judgemental and who wouldn’t react badly to being asked. Maybe there’s something similar or analogous to your situation.
Edit: propositioned, not preposition
What about me could make me attractive to swinger couples?
Probably
As far as physical attractiveness, I would say I’m slightly above average based on what women have told me and how they treat me.
Although, I was considered handsome as a younger man, and I’ve never been propositioned by swingers. I guess my attitude might have had something to do with that. I was a bad boy, and generally trouble. I did get propositioned by gay men a lot. Idk what’s up with that.
It’s 2024, people are more open minded to things that aren’t cis monogamous relationships, and you may just be seeing the results of that as a “slightly” above average attractive man.
P.s. you might be in the sweet spot of attractive. Better looking than most, but still approachable. It takes balls to ask a George Clooney type for a 4 way.
It’s 2024, people are more open minded to things that aren’t cis monogamous relationships,
This has been going on since like 2006.
you might be in the sweet spot of attractive. Better looking than most, but still approachable.
I think this might be it. I’ve had friends that meet several women every time they go out, so I know they’re seen as attractive. I have never received the type of attention they have, but I have had ex partners, friends, and acquaintances give me respectful compliments.
For me it’s happened twice overtly and I suspect once that didn’t become an explicit request. I’m vocally monogamous, I’m not very social, and I’m still kinda young so I feel like those numbers are pretty high. For me I feel like it’s how I present myself and act, which is pretty stereotypically “queer.” Once that gets picked up on by other couples I think they seem more interested.
Ooh! This might have something to do with it. I don’t make any effort to be extra masculine (a bro). And, if I feel like doing something feminine, I do it. Sometimes I do something feminine just to prove a point.
Disclaimer: I’m using masculine and feminine stereotypes prescribed by dominant hetero-normative culture. I don’t really believe in those things like that.
This happens to me a lot and the reason I think it does is because I’m good looking enough that the woman could potentially get herself in the mindset that I’m attractive but not so good looking or masculine that I intimidate her existing boyfriend. I’m in that sweet spot of approachable non-judgmental, in decent shape, good attitude, kinky predilections, and I can make people laugh.
I have been approached double digits number of times which led me down the same thought path as you.
I have been approached double digits number of times which led me down the same thought path as you.
Yess, right‽ It’s odd. I was like, “What is going on??” I think you might be on the ball. I’m attractive enough for the woman, but not too attractive to intimidate the man. Also, thinking about what people have said, I now remember that I asked a gay guy that was into kink about it. He said that my initial presentation is that I look non-judgmental and down for whatever. Basically, I seem like someone that could possibly be interested in it, but would be chill about it if I wasn’t.
We’re low risk targets lol
Maybe stop wearing that 🍍 shirt.
My buddy got a pineapple tattooed on his arm that appears upside down when his arm hangs down. He was not aware of the meaning it carried. 😂
An upside-down pineapple specifically signals that someone is a swinger or is looking for swinger parties. This association likely stems from the fruit’s historical connotations of wealth and welcome, evolving into a discreet way for swingers to identify each other in public or at events. Displaying a pineapple, especially upside down, can indicate an invitation to join in on swinging activities or parties
TIL
But … but my grandma’s specialty was pineapple upside-down cake??
Didn’t you think it was weird, that she would go to “play golf”, but never bring any clubs?
She had a magnet on her fridge that said “I’m done with love. Fortunately there’s still sex”
lmao I’m also remembering she had another one that said “Sex is my favorite sport. It’s free, it’s fun, and you don’t need special shoes”
Grandma!
I can’t say it’s common, and wouldn’t ever have considered asking some random good looking guy to join us, but straight guy MFM is probably more common than you think. When men on the internet talk about threesomes they seem to be thinking about 2 women, but I’ve only done the other kind and it seems like way more fun - I’m straight so nothing really exciting about adding another woman, but two guys? So many things you can do whether they are into each other or not.
I do think it’s more common for couples to approach women though, as I have been propositioned by couples and probably all women have.
