Especially if your existence is a constant failure… When you own nothing, you have no future, job and no woman wants you (and you still a virgin as an old adult)… Recently I’ve feeling suicidal again, I don’t think I have the courage to do it, which makes this worse,I can’t even stop this from messing with me.
Sorry if you are bothered by this but I’m feeling really rotten. Just… Don’t tell me to get help, that’s not a possibility. I’m getting tired of just waking up alive.
Get a job first. Sounds like you’re locking yourself in your room away from society. This is a recipe for depression.
I don’t know if this’ll help you (OP) but UPS, FedEx or USPS are a few jobs you could try? I can only speak on UPS though since I got hired to UPS with no interview, just applied and got sent the orientation date… It’s a free gym workout with money and some benefits. Again, not sure if it’ll help but it never hurts to try, but I just thought I’d share