I have a daughter. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Sounds corny as fuck, but it’s true. I don’t regret a thing. The first 3 years are tough, but also super cute. After that it’s a freaking miracle on 2 legs. Sometimes I think we should have had a second child shortly after but we already put in so much energy to set her up for life. I don’t think we could have extended that for another child. Turns out she’s neurodivergent, just like me. It takes a bit more effort raising someone like that, but it’s totally worth it.

I bet there are people here fuming at my post already because of climate change and whatnot. I believe humanity has faced way worse and yet we’re still here. If there is a meaning to life, it is going to be survival. Can’t survive without procreation.

I don’t have kids, but very much want them. But for a number of reasons, it’s just not going to happen in my life and I’ve made my peace with that.

Firstly, I am a trans woman married to another trans woman. Quite happily! So obviously our only option would be adoption, however due to a chronic medical complications I’m currently using a wheelchair full time without any clear indication if that will ever change. I’m in constant pain that makes any sort of mobility difficult so very often I don’t leave the couch. So while it is possible for us to start the expensive and lengthy foster parent system, there is no guarantees I would physically be able to help my wife with child raising. And since she is also our sole income, I can’t also expect her to work full-time AND do transportation, logistics and day to day child care while I am bedridden. Especially when my wife has said that her life is complete without children.

I take solace in the fact that our hormone replacement has likely made us sterile. That’s often not the case completely, but for my own emotional well being, I assume it’s a certainty so I don’t think about surrogates.

Part of having a disability is grieving the loss of your old life and old expectations, while coming to terms with a new life along with new goals. This is a touchy subject with a lot of complex feelings, but I want to thank you OP for promoting the question and allowing me to talk.

58 and without kids, no regrets so far

Waht I regret pf having kids is my financial situation and who I had kids with. I should have chosen better but I was stupid and naive back in the day…

As someone who wants kids, this thread is very depressing.

I’m 41. I decided I didn’t want kids when I was probably 14 or 15. I do not regret the decision at all, and believe that if I were 11 today, I’d probably make the decision as an 11 year old and not wait so long until I’m 14 or 15.

I have a son that is the most important thing in my life. He is 2.5 now, but it took me a year to adjust to my new life, and I am shamed to admit that several episodes could have a been handled better. (No abuse, but daddy getting angry for a toddler being a toddler) It took a toll on the relationships too. Still does since tired people have shorter fuses.

Bottom line now is that he fills me with joy. Watching him learn new thing like how there ia fluff between his toes (and do dad have it too?) to how all water used for painting turns grey. How he practices being a ninja sneaking up on me (but can’t contain his excitement and giggle) The texture of food, and how spaghetti sticks.

Of course you are tired and stressed, and the random pain from unexpected movements when dressing him, or from death dives on the couch is always there. But I would not trade him for anything.

I have 1 year old twins.

It’s been a tough road all the way along. Years of IVF, complex and stressful pregnancy, some serious health issues at first. Everyone fit and well now.

It’s kind of odd to be asked whether I regret anything. Like do I regret having an arm, or do I regret that the world is round.

I will say that it’s a genuine privilege to be involved in their lives every day and to be with them when they experience things.

I have kids. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. 90% of the time, they’re fine. The other 10%, I’m so angry but I can’t be angry for long because they didn’t do anything I didn’t do as a kid.

Hard to say if I regret anything. Too young and I would have struggled financially, nor was I mature enough. Too old and I would have struggled to keep up.

You’re going to have a divide here. There’s people who REALLY hate the idea of kids. Then you have the crazy-ass breeder religious folks who are so judgemental. Asking for validation from the internet about kids is silly imo. Everyone has a motive.

Rather than ask friends, family, strangers on the internet… Treat it like a lifestyle change. Read books about parenting. If that doesn’t align with you, then you have your answer.

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I love kids and would be a great parent but no on all three counts. I’d have to put aside my own life, my own plans and all the weird fun stuff I do because of kids. Not to mention the cost, even just got giving birth, would be nuts.

Kinda like how I love dogs but don’t want to be a dog owner.

Nope! No interest at all. I definitely don’t regret it as a millennial.

I have always been fine with children. I think seeing other people raise them with love and care and real emotional availability is the most heartening thing ever! I’ve even teared up a little when i see them do it well and with real emotional availability.

I was never interested but i had the question about whether i would with the right partner well into my 20’s. I never felt like it was something missing from my life. Now that I’m older i see my friends all across the spectrum about the choice from joy to regret. I am confident, learning about time commitment, cost, and thinking about the liability of a human life, that i would be deep on the regret end. In fact i see not having children as the best choice I’ve made in life.

I’m thoroughly happy and content being child free.

Having a kid has helped me learn and realize so much about myself and my life that I wouldn’t have been able to learn otherwise. The same can be said about many of my other major life experiences. Sometimes I miss being alone and being able to do whatever the fuck I want, but I realize I’m still learning how to balance my life and seeing my child every day makes me happy (even if she is going through a hellion phase).

I have a young kid and about to have another one. I’m very happy with them. It’s like I’m rising a puppy that can talk. I have a job flexible wfh work. So, I can take care of them with my partner.

The only downside are that I have a very small window of personal time, and I can’t take too much financial risk as I used to, which is a good thing.

I think the decision making process behind having a kid is similar to the process when we decided to have a dog. You shouldn’t have a dog just because someone push a pressure on you or something.

Nope, and very glad I didn’t.