- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion@lemmy.world
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I can’t fucking read
Chess grandmaster Hans Niemann dies using vibrating sex toy to cheat
best orgasm of his life
Had it coming
And last
He died doing what he loved…
World News
I love that they actually turned this into an episode of It’s Always Sunny - it was entirely believable as the sort of scheme the gang would come up with.
When I saw the episode I had no idea it was based on a real life story 🤯😆
So it’s not real. It’s a meme that serious journalists are asking him about.
I mean, he has cheated before, he’s admitted that. So it’s at least partially real.
I guess we’re anal vibe people now
That was definitely the most “sunny” episode of the season in my mind… Absolutely classic
I didn’t know the meme or who this person is, and I know about as much about vibrating sex toys as I know about chess- just the basics, I’m not an expert.
- how can someone cheat at chess?
- how can someone cheat at chess using a vibrator???
-
Have an accomplice feeding the game into a computer to figure out the best move to make next.
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Send the information to the chess player using Morse code butt vibrations.
Nakamura said in a podcast all he would need to know is that there is a winning move and he’d be able to find it.
So, just one buzz is enough that says “in this position there is a move that wins the game”.
Kinda like everyone’s ratings in puzzles is higher than in elo because by the very nature of the puzzle there is a winning sequence to find.
In play, if I don’t spot a winning tactic I just move to (try to) improve my position. In puzzles if I don’t spot a winning tactic, I look again, and again, and again…
Yes, that would be easier to keep track, and less risk of accidentally cumming.
Now that’s dedication to winning the sport. Ingenuity knows no bounds.
I see, a wide array of skills and strict organisation.
-
- you use a super genius AI
- you stick it in the ass, and have your partner play a genius AI, partner mimicking the real opponents moves, then somehow coordinate the AIs move to you using the vibrator.
Its convoluted but technically not impossible
It’s a very shittily written article.
Why did anyone even listen to this bullshit. This must be the biggest case of bullying of modern times.
- Hans has admitted to cheating in the past
- Hans played a near-perfect game as black against the best player in the world who hadn’t lost as white in years
- Hans made some suspiciously good moves quickly, without much time passing
- Magnus played a very rare opening that Hans was somehow able to perfectly respond to without skipping a beat
From these, many people think he cheated. The vibrating butt plug is unlikely, but what is more likely is that Magnus’ prep got leaked and Hans was able to hyper-prepare for a specific line of play.
He admitted to cheating online when he was a child. Magnus is clearly just salty someone younger is better than him and is trying to humiliate him to hide his own embarrassment.
He admitted to cheating online when he was a child.
Yes, after which it was proven that he cheated later than he admitted and more often than he admitted.
Can you link to that please, it says the opposite in the article?
It’s mentioned in the chess.com report: https://www.chess.com/blog/CHESScom/hans-niemann-report
It says in the report there is no evidence of him cheating at all, how is this proven?
The first page of the report literally states: “We present evidence in this report that Hans likely cheated online much more than his public statements suggest”, and you’re trying to tell me that the report says there is no evidence of cheating at all?
Did you not open the link? Or are you Hans himself? If you’re trying to deny allegations, at least read the first page.
No vibrating butt plugs were used in his win.
Isn’t that almost like a L?
Did they check for vibrating cock rings?
This is the best summary I could come up with:
An American grandmaster who was part of a row which rattled the world of chess has denied using a vibrating sex toy to cheat.
In September 2022 Hans Niemann sat down to play Norwegian grandmaster Magnus Carlsen in chess’s Sinquefield Cup St Louis, Missouri.
Niemann won, but was accused by Carlsen of cheating - a claim which sparked a huge legal row between the pair.
On Monday evening, Niemann spoke to Piers Morgan Uncensored about the scrutiny he has faced since being accused of cheating.
Niemann admitted that he had cheated twice in online matches on Chess.com aged 12 and 16, but denied he had done so in the Sinquefield Cup or any in-person game.
Last month, Chess.com said it stood by its report on Niemann, “including that we found no determinative evidence that he has cheated in any in-person games”.
The original article contains 371 words, the summary contains 141 words. Saved 62%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!
So… I assume it was inflatable then?
Are the chess groupies really worth it?
I remember all these headlines from last year. Ironically it made Chess more famous imo. I suddenly had so many friends mentioning chess to me because of this lol.
