As far as I know, the current culture around dating/relationships includes meeting your SO’s family and letting them meet yours. And probably sometime on the first few dates, at least asking about family. Problem is, my family is batshit insane.
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My parents are in an abusive relationship and constantly scream at each other
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My father is a violent abuser who avoids talking to people because he can’t even pretend to be sane
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I had to raise myself because most of their advice was hateful trash; they tried to raise me into a bigoted loner asshole who only cares about himself and ties his self-worth to pretending he’s better than everyone else
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My brother is an emotionally volatile gun owner in a relationship with an insane psycho who abused her cat to death
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They all believe that people who are different should be suppressed or purged from society because God or something
I think at this point, my family may be too dangerous to maintain ties to at all. I really wish I could burn it all down and start over, but I might not be so lucky due to my fledgling financial situation.
Ridding myself of my family’s influence has been a decade-long project that I’ve been working hard on, and I gotta say, “Your parents raised you well” has got to be my least favorite compliment.
Jokes aside, I’m interested in hearing about experiences from others in similar situations. How did you talk about it?
I feel like this is an unavoidable red flag either way for a lot of people (After all, how would anyone know that I’m as sane as I claim to be?), but I’d still like to find the least horrible way to talk about it without lying.
Thanks!
I’d just tell them your family is abusive and you have distanced yourself from them.
You have, right?
Emotionally, yes, but financially, I don’t have the means to move out yet. I have health problems and disabilities that make it difficult to get a job, so I don’t yet know the timeline or feasibility of making it out on my own.
I’m not planning on dating until I have a better idea of what the future looks like, but I decided to ask about this stuff now just because the question has been bouncing around in the back of my head for a while and I figured that people here might have similar experiences.
Slightly off topic, but if you are receiving any disability benefit payments from SSI please make sure to get in touch with the social security administration to get the process of switching it to just your name and to a separate account at a different bank than you family uses (just prevents the off chance they find a way to access your account if a banker doesn’t do their job correctly).