• lotanis@discuss.tchncs.de
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    1 year ago

    Do not declare your undying love for someone. It puts way too much pressure on, and unless they’re in exactly the same mental place it’s unlikely to go anywhere.

    Instead, just ask them if they’d like to go on a date. That obviously communicates that you’re interested in them, and gives a good starting point to build a connection.

    • TehPers@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      This exactly, you don’t tell them “I love you” in any way, implicit or explicit, unless you are already in a genuine relationship. To begin with, if you don’t know anything about the person besides what they show on the surface, how can you possibly know you want to be with them? Unless of course all you care about is appearance or something, or you have an unnatural infatuation and should seek help instead.

      • Haui@discuss.tchncs.de
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        1 year ago

        Not sure op should directly be advised to seek help. We don’t even know (or I overlooked) who they are talking about.

        People fall in love with their friends, have a crush on classmates (and misjudge that). Depending on age the person just needs to learn. I actually had that situation at the age of 14. Didn’t go anywhere.

        Have a good one.

        • TehPers@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          I agree, was general advice that an unnatural infatuation should be an indicator, not specific for OP. I don’t know enough about them to know whether that’s the case, but it’s never impossible, and a therapist should never make things worse at least and may help them better understand their emotions (if they’re doing their job).

          • Haui@discuss.tchncs.de
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            1 year ago

            As someone who has years of therapy experience for things I shouldn’t talk unsolicited about: therapists absolutely help most of the time. But one big problem is pathologizing things.

            A lot of people fit the criteria for mental disorders in their adolescence. Thats why certain disorders are not diagnosed until they are 18 (probably country specific as well).

            That is why, while you are correct that it’s a possibility, it is not the only one and depends on many factors we as non professionals can not see.

    • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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      1 year ago

      Exactly. Just be chill, casual. A simple “would you like to go out sometime” is really all there is.

      And it’s probably not love anyway, it’s more than likely a crush, or puppy love, something that is pretty one sided. No need to tell them, start with one date and go from there