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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 24th, 2023

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  • I’ve found a job I’m happy with, a house that I feel good in, and a wife that is my most important source of joy. We have a few hobbies that keep us occupied, but I think we’d almost have too much time to kill if we weren’t working at least a little bit and feeling productive in fields we value. I am incredibly lucky to be able to say all of that, and it leaves my health issues as my biggest obstacle to greater contentment. I have epilepsy which has led to a pretty restrictive lifestyle. No drinking, early bedtime every single night, HEAVY (and expensive) medications with terrible side effects, and just a bit of constant stress around the possibility of a bad seizure. Plus the increased risks of early onset dementia that I just have to wait for and know is likely coming. There’s nothing we can do about any of it except try to stay distracted, but that’s hard with so many medication alarms going off every day.







  • I can’t stop myself from thinking about the people who have helped me in the past who I have since allowed to grow distant, and with whom I’ve failed to communicate during my tough times (and since, tbh). I don’t have (m)any memories of doing actively cruel things, but my brain won’t let these ones go, and always brings them to mind in the moments where it’s obvious I can do nothing about it. Why?