I recommend you start BloominOnions @ federation of your choice (or something, I don’t really know how any of this stuff works)

This video is ancient. I’m not saying that time has any bearing on consent, just that OP is unlikely the original videographer, nor possessing the means to contact this gyrating, pants-less man.

Napalm Death’s “You Suffer” on full blast and repeat

Man that would be terrible. I sure hope no one attractive comes to me to try and pry my many many government secrets out of me with affection and attention. I have so many government secrets and am very easily persuaded with flirtation and intimacy. Soooo many government secrets

Plutonium doesn’t occur that much in nature? you fool, there’s a whole dwarf planet made of it at the edge of our solar system

Is that Simon Templeman!?

Instructions unclear, reverted to feudalism, defended literal, inherited pile of manure with violence

Incest Myres

Thank you. This post has haunted my brain on occasion over the years. I couldn’t remember the person’s reply, just the set-up and the joke. You have released me from my torment for the next two weeks until I forget again.

I can confirm. As a person who had a chihuahua for 11 beautiful years, he yearned for the most violent death of any and all that displeased him, which was anything bigger than him.

Go back into shower, resume task

Someone made a post about how they thought they could fight a bear, describing exactly the scenario in the image.

I remember when this reddit post came out, it was as wild as that imaginary bear. Forgive my reminiscence, but I think I made a comment like “dude shut up I wanna see him do it” to someone saying that he shouldn’t, and it got several upvotes. A dozen, even. It was nice

Fuck, man, you know when a meme just hits you in a way you aren’t expecting? This one just footballed my funny groin.

Took the L on this one

True. The start of the 1900s was no time for messin’ around and making babies. We had to go work in the mines

I’ve been pronouncing it all-e-glucky

Manipulativeness

“Hey, I was wondering if you could help me figure something out. I was really flattered by your invite the other day, but I’m not interested in dating right now. I enjoy your friendship and I don’t want to jeopardize it. Is there a way we can comfortably set boundaries without ruining that?”

IMO this way you let them know you’re interested in maintaining a relationship but at a friendship level. You demonstrate that you care about their feelings while clearly establishing the need for specific boundaries.

Some people don’t want to conform to your leg-prisons to appease your draconian fashion sense