Half the problem with autism and adhd both is difficulty with habit formation and maintenance.
You don’t need habits. You need routines with reliable contextual triggers. They’ll fail from time to time and you will just have to be okay with that, and try to figure out exactly what made them fail when they do so maybe you can fix it going forward. But it will still occasionally fail.
You can’t make a sieve not leak without making it not a sieve.
Triggers are the real key. Like needing to use the bathroom in the morning. Then hang a habit of taking meds right after. You have to look at the habits you already have, and connect new things to that.
You can also build new habits, but if they are forced, they won’t have a high success rate. I built a habit of looking back into a space I am walking out of when not in my home. I built it on the anxiety of forgetting something. So it stuck. I try to build a habit of letting others talk, but it has no trigger, so it hasn’t stuck.
That’s why I have my meds, deodorant, shoes, hair brush, and hair ties on/near my coffee table. I make my coffee every morning, sit at the couch and (except brushing my teeth) get ready for the day. I let my brain put things where it’ll actually use them.
I just moved a few weeks ago. At my last place all of that was in my kitchen. It’s weird how moving changes where my brain wants to do stuff
I let my brain put things where it’ll actually use them.
And this is why I hated cleaning my room as a child. It’s been a consistent point of contention between my mother and me all my life, but whenever I “cleaned” the way she wanted me to, I couldn’t find a damn thing afterwards.
Certain things go on my nightstand for a reason. Certain things need to be out on a table, fully visible, near my door. Some clothes are in one spot because they were lightly used but are not soiled, and that concept eludes my mom (she would insist on just washing it.) Things are where they are for reasons. Instead of teaching me how to keep my stuff organized (which is a skill I clearly could have used instruction on), I was taught that “cleaning” means “shoving everything into a drawer or closet.” (It was “out of sight, out of mind,” for my mom.)
I’d inevitably forget what I put where, leading to long searches to find each and every important thing. As soon as I found all the important things and set them where I’d naturally be able to use/remember them, that’d be the cue to be told that my rOOm’S tOo mEsSY again.
Half the problem with autism and adhd both is difficulty with habit formation and maintenance.
You don’t need habits. You need routines with reliable contextual triggers. They’ll fail from time to time and you will just have to be okay with that, and try to figure out exactly what made them fail when they do so maybe you can fix it going forward. But it will still occasionally fail.
You can’t make a sieve not leak without making it not a sieve.
Triggers are the real key. Like needing to use the bathroom in the morning. Then hang a habit of taking meds right after. You have to look at the habits you already have, and connect new things to that. You can also build new habits, but if they are forced, they won’t have a high success rate. I built a habit of looking back into a space I am walking out of when not in my home. I built it on the anxiety of forgetting something. So it stuck. I try to build a habit of letting others talk, but it has no trigger, so it hasn’t stuck.
That’s why I have my meds, deodorant, shoes, hair brush, and hair ties on/near my coffee table. I make my coffee every morning, sit at the couch and (except brushing my teeth) get ready for the day. I let my brain put things where it’ll actually use them.
I just moved a few weeks ago. At my last place all of that was in my kitchen. It’s weird how moving changes where my brain wants to do stuff
And this is why I hated cleaning my room as a child. It’s been a consistent point of contention between my mother and me all my life, but whenever I “cleaned” the way she wanted me to, I couldn’t find a damn thing afterwards.
Certain things go on my nightstand for a reason. Certain things need to be out on a table, fully visible, near my door. Some clothes are in one spot because they were lightly used but are not soiled, and that concept eludes my mom (she would insist on just washing it.) Things are where they are for reasons. Instead of teaching me how to keep my stuff organized (which is a skill I clearly could have used instruction on), I was taught that “cleaning” means “shoving everything into a drawer or closet.” (It was “out of sight, out of mind,” for my mom.)
I’d inevitably forget what I put where, leading to long searches to find each and every important thing. As soon as I found all the important things and set them where I’d naturally be able to use/remember them, that’d be the cue to be told that my rOOm’S tOo mEsSY again.
And the cycle repeats…
I have to brush my teeth when I get up. Otherwise I never get to it.