I’m a 54-year-old man, recently separated from my wife of 31 years - just earlier this month. Honestly, I’m already feeling bored and lonely, so I’ve been considering trying out dating apps (I’ve never used one before). However, my sons (30 and 28) tell me it’s a waste of time and possibly even a scam, and I’ve seen similar opinions online. So I’m not sure what to think.
I believe the point was to meet someone through those hobbies / activities vs using the dating apps.
I know. I just prefer not to involve romantic or sexual dynamics in those circles.
The other option in the other direction is to join a swingers’ club or similar and keep it purely sexual, though leave open the possibility that something more may come of it.
Then, what? You want a GF to lock her emotionally away from the rest of your life? Wouldn’t it be nice to share a hobby or personal interest with someone you are romantically and sexually involved in, too?
Wow, that was a huge leap there. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to seek an intimate relationship with someone in your established circles. Like dating someone at work, this can come with significant social risk.
Not a leap. I’m basing my comment on the replies from OP that said that he is probably gonna divorce his wife — gigantic red flag, looking for dating advice not having being done with the previous relationship, but maybe that’s just me — because they were highly independent, drifted apart and wife leaving wasn’t even a lifestyle changing event. Maybe OP wouldn’t be divorcing if he considered women as something other than a source of romantic and sexual exchange separate from company, friendship and sharing a lifestyle. I’m just saying, OP sounds very sus.
Uhh… I think we might be reading different posts? OP has stated he’s already separated from his wife, not that he’s considering doing so. Also the thing about romantic/sexual exchange thing seems unlikely to me from what’s been said; men who think like that tend to not stay in one relationship for 3 decades.
I’ve had a lot of different hobbies over the past ~ 10 years, some for a shorter and some for a longer time. Not once has that resulted in a genuine romantic connection. Not even a date.
On the other hand, I have had a lot of success finding romantic partners both on dating apps and in bars. All of the partners I’ve found that way have been at least somewhat likeminded and I’ve shared interests and hobbies with them. On an app, you see the person’s interests in the profile, in a bar you can talk to them and find out whether you have something in common.
Maybe it’s against the etiquette to seek out romantic partners at hobby events around here (a nordic country). Maybe I just personally don’t like doing that. Either way, I totally understand if somebody wants to date in spaces that specifically cater to that.
Not the issue here. It seems like OP wants a sexual toy for intimacy. Definitely don’t go looking for that type of relationship in friend and hobby spaces. But most of my friend’s relationships came out of friendships built on said social circles. My longest relationship ever (now ended for other reasons) came from a videogaming club, a friend of a friend.
I have no interest discussing in your extrapolations of OP’s motivations and behavior