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I love ADHD posts because they always contain condescending people that are incapable of understanding that they’re being condescending. They make assumptions that everyone hopping on the bandwagon isn’t doing any sort of therapy themselves, and we’re all just wallowing in the doom.
Here’s the actual reason why these things help:
- It’s easier to understand yourself when you see others describing similar struggles
- Sometimes this leads to discussions about how to cope and deal on a daily basis
- Sometimes it leads to doing your own research on things (which has been the case for me multiple times, like recently learning about somatic therapy and how it helps deal with dissociation, etc)
- Sometimes it’s also just nice to have a group to cope with together, especially when we all live in a world run by the worst fucking people imaginable
If things have worked for you, that’s amazing. But save the shrugging and dismissive language for… your internal dialogue because zero people need it, unless you’re willing to reframe it in a more constructive way.
ADHD is a broad spectrum and is never a 1:1 between people. For me, openly identifying as someone that has had ADHD since the 90s (diagnosed) can help others understand why I am the way I am. It also helps bond with others which is in itself a support mechanism. Being more open about my brain has also helped friends identify their own struggles, which also lead them to do more research. So it becomes a “pass it on” kind of thing, not just some vapid “hehe suffering” circle jerk.
If you’ve been “weird” like me since childhood and struggled hard in school and life for an eternity before finally finding ways to consistently cope and endure (things that will start and stall a million times over because of ADHD brain), finding community and talking about it is massively helpful. The reality is that at this point everyone could have ADHD brain. It’s a spectrum and we know so little about the brain as it is.
Sometimes it’s also just fun to meme about it.
Oh yes. Before my partner and I got diagnosed these were the source of so much tension in our relationship too. Now we are able to laugh about it and shrug it off but you never stop paying these.
The most recent expensive one for me was a bunch of clothing returns that needed to go back in 30 days. I really thought i still had time but when the stars finally aligned some 70 days had slipped by. Then you gotta fess up to what you did so you end up paying more than just the monetary tax.
How did you find my bingo card?
Wait, we are supossed to change hobbies? I just pick up new ones.
Do you go back to the old ones on a frequent basis?
Not frequent, but I do go back
There’s also “racking up student debt for years and then dropping out because your ADHD spirals out of control”, that’s a really expensive one.
luckily when I did this I spiraled out of control quickly and dropped out very early before I could get much debt… yay!..
I don’t know if I’m ADHD or just lazy.
The over-simplified, highly condensed question to find out is this:
Am i putting this off because i don’t feel like doing it right now or do i walk past this everyday and beat myself up about never doing it but no matter how much i want to i just. can’t. do it?
Do your symptoms significantly negatively impact your life?
I’m definitely a little of both
Strongly affected by all 9
Looking at fines and cost for more than a months salary because my car insurance had lapsed… Fml
oh yeah thank you for reminding me about that registration that was due a couple months ago fuck
For some reason I can’t send messages in the thunder app. Not sure why. Anyhow thanks for the offer but I will survive even if it will be noodles for the coming months. I just wanted to vent. Send it to Palestine instead. !mutual_aid@hexbear.net
5 / 9
Perfect score?
No that was 5/7
I don’t throw away wasted food. I eat everything I can afford in this bloody economy!
Subscriptions cancelled? Oh that’s easy, hey look here, watch, watch. *nukes Duolingo Plus* …I don’t know how you say Where Is Your God Now idiomatically in French. Après avoir vu cela, où est votre dieu ? Est-il possible que votre dieu n’existe pas, après tout ? …best I can do. Anyway, that’s what the recent shenanigans have all boiled down to.
I’ve got plenty of calendars ‘n’ stuff! So I don’t really have much late fees. Ooops I need to bump this one bill forward. Ooooh shit did I just miss the library dealine, that’s 1.80€ down the drain right there.
(Dunno if the tax agency here will let me deduct subscription to Todoist as a medical expense? I should get my ADHD diagnosis if that’s the case.)I used to spend much money impulsively on video games! But not in this bloody economy holy shit.
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The thing about ADHD is that you have to remember to use the tracking app.
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That’s ableist.
If you don’t have ADHD you shouldn’t be commenting here.
It’s fine if people come in to learn about it though, right? I think a lot of people like myself can’t get diagnosed for various reasons, or maybe they just have a loved one who has ADHD. I think it’s better to say that if you’re going to be ableist about it, you can keep your mouth shut.
Why are you assuming they don’t have ADHD?
Because they are attributing some of the clearest examples of how the condition impacts people to a ‘growing up tax’.
A misguided view doesn’t mean they don’t have ADHD
Doesn’t mean they do either. This post appears on the all feed. Why would you assume they do with that view?
Because everyone experiences things differently, your experiences aren’t representative of the group as a whole. Neither are his, or mine. Making assumptions like that does nothing positive for anyone.
What a load of shite.
Nothing to suggest they have ADHD or that it should be assumed by default.
I said ‘If’, not ‘You don’t’
What an inane comment to raise, really.
You can actually do things to control impulses. I feel like this is just giving license to unhealthy coping mechanisms. 🤷♂️
I control my impulses. I have all my life. I recently got diagnosed (no medication yet) and I got told I’m tired from dusk till dawn and sleep 10+ hours a day while Im capable of working for just a few because I spend all my energy controlling those impulses.
Think of it this way. ADHD is not entitled cunts being lazy and making up a disease. ADHD is the same impulse that tells you not to turn your car into oncoming traffic being used to prevent you from doing some things.
I know what ADHD is, I have spent 30 years working on controlling impulsive behaviors in my own treatment. I’m not always successful, but there are absolutely techniques that can help.
Good for you kiddo. Everyone is different tho. Just cause some people can literally bend their joints backwards does not mean everyone can do that.
Yes, people with ADHD all experience things differently. My experiences don’t invalidate the experiences of others.
Oh my god! I’m cured! Thank you, oh god thank you! I’m going to go tell my wife to try bring happy when she’s depressed! You’re a miracle worker!
Oh can you aye thanks for letting us know.
Fanny.
I can’t get the accent that goes with this phrase out of my head. This response is so perfect 🤣
Yep! There is no perfect solution, it takes time and effort. Things can get better.
Fuck up eejit I probably do more in a day than you do in a week.
I avoid assuming things about people I don’t know
Do you, aye? Apart from the comment I replied to that is? Away fling shite at the moon.
I’m not going to react in the way you appear to be seeking. I’m speaking from my own experiences, you are welcome to share yours and how they differ.
YOU cAN aCtuallY dO ThINgs to cONTroL iMpulses.
Save your patronising nonsense - stop trivialising and dismissing a real neurological condition because you lack the awareness to understand the condition doesn’t impact everyone the same.
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Even if you do everything you can to avoid these things, statistically adhd folks will do them more than neurotipical people
Wow, I never thought of it that way. Maybe neurodivergent people are just lazy. Have you shared this fresh insight with the medical community? They’re going to want to hear this right away.
Hello, I’m neurodivergent. I have put a lot of time and effort into therapy and treatment. It’s not easy, but yes you can actually do things to control unhealthy impulses.
This is well documented in the medical community
Next time you’re with your therapist, ask about controlling your impulse to be condescending.
I’m sorry my words came across as condescending. My experiences and views are my own.
My view is that this image gives license to acceptance of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I believe there are ways to curb these impulses, however people with ADHD will always have to work harder at that.
I’ll be sincere here, the issue that this is clearly a forum for ADHD memes. People are here to have a chuckle and commiserate about shared experiences. Everyone here is aware that these aren’t good or useful behaviors.
It’s not about normalizing these behaviors, it’s about contextualizing them. If someone has been struggling with these things their whole life, there’s a good chance they’ve been told over and over again that they should try harder to not do these things, but without any compassion or accommodation or treatment. They’ve heard “oh, you should be able to control those things” from people who don’t have trouble with these things, and your comment is basically indistinguishable from that sentiment.
People know these are unhealthy behaviors, they know there are ways to work on them, and they are probably already doing that work. It’s unhelpful and tedious to point out that these are bad and you can work on them.
Thanks for being sincere, I totally see your perspective. However, as someone who struggles with all the behaviors in the image. I’m also allowed to simply not like the image and its sentiment.
Saying there are things you can do to control impulses, does not trivialize the effort needed. Will these things be successful for everyone? Nope.
I feel that the image communicates acceptance, and I’m entitled to simply not liking that sentiment.
Genuinely sorry if you felt hurt by this perspective
Edit: words
- Not everyone has access to treatment
- Even with treatment, these things are still much harder than for neurotypical people
- Even with treatment and great effort, you will still just slip up sometimes and fail at these things at a higher rate than neurotypical people.
So the point still stands.
I agree with everything you said. I don’t like the image, because i personally feel that its giving license to accepting unhealthy behaviors.
These are all things I struggle with myself
This is exactly how I feel looking at this “meme”. It’s all money related and feels like it’s encouraging people to say things like “oops I forgot to cancel my Amazon prime subscription, I must have ADHD haha”. We live in overwhelming times, too much information everywhere, too many subscriptions, too much stuff with instant access, but nobody ever mentions that.
People used to get their news from a newspaper once a week. There weren’t 10-20 “subscriptions” to keep track of. You couldn’t pull a thing out of your pocket to relieve boredom or sadness or loneliness, and people couldn’t contact you expecting a response within an hour. We’re not used to this biologically…
To me, this meme seems to be making fun of ADHD more than anything.
Most of these replies seem to assume I have no understanding or empathy for these problems. I just don’t like the image, and the implication that we have absolutely zero control over impulsive decision making.
To control impulses does not mean to cure them. My experiences as a person with ADHD are just as valid as everyone else’s.
Many of these things can be curbed through medication and therapy. And people with ADHD will still pay more an average for all of them. Both things are true.
Not to mention people with ADHD aren’t a monolith, everyone experiences things differently
Medication and therapy helps me with every issue I have apart from these actually. It’s like there’s no neural connections between my will and ability to do these things.
My ADHD wife does them for me instead and I use my OCD superpowers to keep the place tidy as repayment.
Sadly there are a ton of these kinds of things here on Lemmy. Also seems like some people want to drown in their sadness and spread it.
Seems like people don’t want to drown in sadness, they’re trying to express pain, connect, and maybe find relief instead of bottling it up alone. If anything you’re the one with the weird dismissive vibes.
People with ADHD struggle with tasks like cancelling subscriptions because ADHD affects executive function, which makes it harder to remember deadlines, manage time, and follow through on boring or repetitive admin tasks that don’t have immediate rewards. It’s not abstract eejit.
It’s tragic, medication and therapy work. I used to think the problem wasn’t my ADHD, but trying to function within societies expectations. Now I would maintain treatment, even if I didn’t need to “perform” for survival.
It can get better!
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Coming into a community to gatekeep our experience is very disruptive. Please stop.
I could go into detail about why the ADHD condition actually does make it much harder to deal with stuff like subscriptions, but frankly you are not entitled to an explanation.
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I told you to get lost and yet here you are still telling me that my lived experience is incorrect actually. Yes everyone forgets things sometimes, but ADHD and executive dysfunction means it happens more often and also it’s more difficult to deal with even when you do remember. Maybe go read up on those things because you are now blocked.
You have a very poor understanding of what ADHD is.
This is posted in a ADHD community, not a meme community, and nothing in it claimed these were exclusive.
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ADHD is a neurological condition which impacts your ability to do these things so yes, the fact that a neurological condition impacts your ability to do these things is exclusive and makes it a ‘tax’ beyond the neurotypical ability to do these things.
