I feel like you’re just not paying attention to what I’m saying. I don’t know how to make it more clear. The “immediate personal vibes” is really misunderstanding me. You seem to be taking what I’m saying as someone making a quick, possibly inaccurate snap judgement. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying people only have their own perception. They aren’t telepathic. You seem to want to differentiate between people’s opinions and what is objective. I’m telling you there is no objective way to interpret a social situation and that obviously people use their own interpretation of a situation when talking.
Re: expert, again, it doesn’t really matter. If the woman believes she is correct about something she believes is obvious and that the man explaining it is being condescending, she’s using the term mansplaining correctly as you described it should be used. If the woman is factually incorrec, not an expert, and the man was being polite then she still used the term the way you said people should use it.
The real question isn’t what it means, but whether or not it’s being overused. Even if the person using it knows its meaning and intends to use it that way, I think it’s still reasonable to ask if it’s being overused. Because we’re really asking if the existence and support for the term is creating a social environment where its use does more harm than good. If it’s mostly drawing attention to bad behavior so we can correct it, then it’s doing good. But if it’s causing people to see malice where there isn’t any or being used itself as a weapon, then we can say it’s being overused. I can’t answer that question, but it does seem worth thinking about.
I made it clear from the start that I’m only responding to the “people use it differently” thing, not whether people should use the term at all. Because it’s a different discussion. I’m not condemning nor justifying the usage of the word. I’m only arguing that when people use it they are using it with the same definition the other user laid out.
I’m not saying it’s unreasonable to ask if it’s overused, I’m saying that “I disagree that people use that term in the way you say” shouldn’t be met with “people shouldn’t use the term” because I’ve said multiple times I’m not saying anything about whether it’s an acceptable term or not.
For what it’s worth, although it seems like a tangent, I do think that’s what was originally meant in the comment that started this chain and I was trying to help. I agree that people are using it with its intended meaning (but could be making an error in judgement).
Yeah, I don’t see why that’s such a difficult concept to grasp. I suppose maybe they believe their interpretation of scenarios is always the objectively correct one and also incredibly obvious so anyone with a different interpretation is wrong? Unsurprisingly, that’s a pretty condescending way to view the world. They seemed to want to twist my words to make what I was saying into something about “snap judgements”.
I feel like you’re just not paying attention to what I’m saying. I don’t know how to make it more clear. The “immediate personal vibes” is really misunderstanding me. You seem to be taking what I’m saying as someone making a quick, possibly inaccurate snap judgement. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying people only have their own perception. They aren’t telepathic. You seem to want to differentiate between people’s opinions and what is objective. I’m telling you there is no objective way to interpret a social situation and that obviously people use their own interpretation of a situation when talking.
Re: expert, again, it doesn’t really matter. If the woman believes she is correct about something she believes is obvious and that the man explaining it is being condescending, she’s using the term mansplaining correctly as you described it should be used. If the woman is factually incorrec, not an expert, and the man was being polite then she still used the term the way you said people should use it.
The real question isn’t what it means, but whether or not it’s being overused. Even if the person using it knows its meaning and intends to use it that way, I think it’s still reasonable to ask if it’s being overused. Because we’re really asking if the existence and support for the term is creating a social environment where its use does more harm than good. If it’s mostly drawing attention to bad behavior so we can correct it, then it’s doing good. But if it’s causing people to see malice where there isn’t any or being used itself as a weapon, then we can say it’s being overused. I can’t answer that question, but it does seem worth thinking about.
I made it clear from the start that I’m only responding to the “people use it differently” thing, not whether people should use the term at all. Because it’s a different discussion. I’m not condemning nor justifying the usage of the word. I’m only arguing that when people use it they are using it with the same definition the other user laid out.
I’m not saying it’s unreasonable to ask if it’s overused, I’m saying that “I disagree that people use that term in the way you say” shouldn’t be met with “people shouldn’t use the term” because I’ve said multiple times I’m not saying anything about whether it’s an acceptable term or not.
For what it’s worth, although it seems like a tangent, I do think that’s what was originally meant in the comment that started this chain and I was trying to help. I agree that people are using it with its intended meaning (but could be making an error in judgement).
Yeah, I don’t see why that’s such a difficult concept to grasp. I suppose maybe they believe their interpretation of scenarios is always the objectively correct one and also incredibly obvious so anyone with a different interpretation is wrong? Unsurprisingly, that’s a pretty condescending way to view the world. They seemed to want to twist my words to make what I was saying into something about “snap judgements”.