My son did a thing, so I said “Good job”. Then I punched him straight in the face. “This is a political metaphor!” I screamed into his sobbing bleeding broken nose.

Now my wife says she’s filling for divorce and taking the kids. I’ve been fired from my job for punching a coworker while saying “This is a political metaphor!” as well.

Just goes to show the state of free speech in this country. I swear to God, it’s the damned Communists in the schools. They ruined everything.