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if every conservative woman hitched with every conservative man they would be 84% in a relationship.
but many conservative men are unpalatable even to conservative women
it’s almost like being conservative comes with almost inherent traits that make someone undesirable as a partner. lack of open mindedness, critical thinking, any form of emotional maturity…
there’s a reason many conservatives in dating apps hide their beliefs. they know its a red flag for many more things than their “politics”.
The last woman I dated before my current girlfriend was a conservative woman. I didn’t see any flags for it, she seemed really open minded, and was very well educated. Shame on me for being so blind I suppose.
She turned out to have a husband and a young son. I’m not entirely sure what to believe since cheaters will say a lot of things, but she apparently hated her marriage a lot. She wouldn’t leave due to her beliefs though.
I’m a 42 year old man with a cat and still single due to living in a very rural republican area and all women here are hardcore Trump fans so I’ll just stay single and spend time with my cat.
I feel that…my Ginger is all I need here in bumfuck Kentucky.
Wanna date me? I’m Canadian and I have a really sexy permanent residence card waiting for you. Bats eyelashes.
Wise choice.
Thanks. Also her name is mojo.
Dat blep! 😍
That’s a great cat! I’m sure the cost of vacuum bags is worth it!
Yep, I have a vacuum without a bag so I just empty it when it’s full which is often.
I see you understood your assignment before we even needed to tell you =D
Cute derpy face
omg! I LOVE her!
I’m assuming it’s not an option to relocate.
Yea unfortunately, my job pays really good and has good benefits. And I’m born and raised here with all my family living here or within a few hours drive.
I cant afford stable housing for myself, so I cant afford a cat.
Am I an idiot? I read this as not a LITERAL cat…
That’s the joke.
you read right. i assume this is one of those apps that find random pics that vaguely relate to the words.
It’s a screencap from a TikTok video. The creator was playing with his cat as that fit the text he used.
well 🤷
cat companionCommand 'cat' not foundCommand 'cat' not foundThe fuck kinda system you running
Red Hat = No Cat
Oooooh, that joke went right over my head hah
Probably ssh into a container.
You can find cat in most containers
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That gives me anxiety on a few levels.
oh god they’ve borked their install. If busybox isnt safe, who is?
The busybox is a busy box because a cat is busy in the box
Authoritarians are probably less likely to keep cats, either because they’re not obedient/useful or because keeping cats is coded as feminine and thus contemptible.
Couldn’t be more wrong. Authoritarians are often psychopaths, and cats (honestly) are kinda psychopathic animals, if very charming, invasive predators and all that. So like many of them love cats and hate dogs (dogs are too direct and chaotic).
And when I had authoritarian views (monarchist with hard limitations, kinda similar to paleo-libertarians if I think about it, but I didn’t have knowledge of such terms then ; it was really long ago and was a reaction at being autistic among not very nice people), I wanted to have a piece of territory covered in tall grass and bushes populated by cats, so.
Wild take.
Very wild take, but as a cat owner I have to agree woth him on the point that cats are psychopathic
How did the cat garden end up going?
My sister made me responsible for a dog (not that I’m against that). And also since then I learned that letting cats roam is not very good for the nature.
I might get a cat in the future, though.
I mean, ya gotta be careful. Are they conservative because they are lonely, or are they lonely because they are conservative
There are a lot of progressive men that are lonely. I’d say, I fall under that category. And woof, dating as a progressive man ain’t no walk in the park.
Here I am going to be the distasteful contrarian progressive, but it’s because I’m desperately hoping people see that the difference isn’t dating.
Because yes, you are right, as a single progressive man, dating is no walk in the park. Plenty of good reasons for this on the side of women.
Are you lonely as termed by the actual problem of male loneliness? Do you have at least a couple of friends who you can get to lunch with? Do you have a brother, sister, cousin, parents, etc. nearby? Do you have someone to help you if you get sick? Do you have an active social group you feel included in?
If the answer to them is no, then yes, definitely you are in the loneliness group. Sure, dating can help with it - but what happens if/when you break up: you don’t have the support there.
I’m really worried about how people are continuing to separate and blame things that aren’t the root of problems on distractions.
Like I get it. I’m there. I’m divorced, I’m coming to terms that I was in a 15 year abusive relationship, I’m hurt by her cheating on me twice, I’m hurt by her rejecting my joys and attempts at connecting and reconnecting, I miss the idea of being with her. It’s been over two years since I slept next to her, or anyone.
She tried to isolate me. She love bombed me. She gaslit me. She threatened me.
But I had a kid, I have my parents, my brother, several friends, a couple of regular groups I meet up with. I desperately want the love life I pretended to have. But if it weren’t for that support system in place, I would have killed myself two years ago.
Instead I lost the weight that was actually killing me. I put muscle on where I’ve had none. There are physical features I cannot change that affect my physical attractiveness that I get that will impede my ability to date via apps.
That’s how I was able to figure this all out. The fact that you are progressive means that you see the value in other people, and see the value in connection.
There has been narratives pushed for decades to try and isolate us, gaslight us, and threaten us as humans. We need to put our oxygen mask on first before helping others.
I agree with a lot of what you said. But I’ll address things point by point.
I have friends and family I spend time with. But when I say I’m lonely, it’s the kind that can’t be filled by friends and family. Additionally, all my friends and family are just as exhausted with the state of things. So our time isn’t quality time because damn near everyone is financially stretched, social energy depleted, and working none stop to keep a roof over our heads.
Yes, I’m active and all that jazz. If I spend anymore time at the state parks they’ll probably name one after me.
My main issue is the commoditficaion of everything. Even dating seems to be more about money then actually getting to know the person across from you. (Yes not all women) I’ve date several different kinds of women (bbw, curvy, nonconventionally attractive women, and trans women) and the main issue is we both were more trauma bounding because of the grind and not actually getting to know each other.
Absolutely, on putting the mask on yourself first. But as a Black American the everyday barriers leaves very little left after to heal and grow.
It’s both. Young men are being pushed right because much leftleaning messaging has decided to, uncharacteristically, broadly paint men in general as bad, instead of being more focused with their targets. This is unlike every other things where it fights against stereotyping.
The right is [falsely] promising solutions to their concerns.
The left is telling them it’s their fault and to fuck off because other people have worse problems and blaming men [in general] for those other people’s problems. And then wondering why they lost the young men in the last election. Young men are just as poor as everyone else, stop blaming them for shit old ass billionaires did before they were born.
This sounds like a misrepresentation of left wing politics.
It sounds more like how the right defines the left which brings us to the real issue.
Outrage narratives have grown increasingly popular with social media and the right spends endless time blaring sirens on representing the left a certain way.
The left has in response, done little, to influence the narrative.
I personally have not heard the left as a whole admonishing individual men simply for being men.
I think an honest assessment of society, historically and now, should lead to the conclusion that we live in a male centric society that is gradually becoming less male centric. This is a good thing if you believe in fairness and egalitarianism (ie. not fascism).
It was a little more than 50 years ago that women could not hold credit and were expected to be subservient to their husbands or else be institutionalized for “mental illness”.
I think many women see this backlash / desire to go back from conservative men as a skill issue so I’m not suprised they’re looking elsewhere.
They are conservative because they are stupid
I suspect that women aren’t dating conservative men, not because they want to punish them, but because they would personally rather not date a horrible person.
It’s a pretty bad spiral. Lonely men develop more extremist views, which makes them less attractive to women, which makes them lonelier, and they get even more extremist views, etc.
Like, if you lined all of the single men up who vote against women’s rights, and asked an equal number of women to sacrifice their own happiness to date them, a certain number of those horrible men would turn a corner and start to act like a human. But who is going to give up their own happiness to fix some broken asshole stranger? Very few people.
I suspect that women aren’t dating conservative men
Well, there are plenty of conservative women too, so that can’t tell the whole story, can it?
Looks like conservative men and liberal women are in similar boats, statistically:
In broad terms, there are only 0.6 single liberal young men for each single liberal young woman; likewise, only 0.5 single conservative young women exist for every conservative young man. Statistically, in other words, about half of these ideologically minded young singles face the prospect of failing to find a partner who shares their politics.
This implies the liberal men are dating the conservative women, lol.
a certain number of those horrible men would turn a corner and start to act like a human
over here in Real World Land, what will happen is those women will get abused, physically and sexually
these men have a violent hatred for women. they don’t need a girlfriend, they need therapy and, failing that, a life of imprisonment far from the people they’re a danger to
over here in Real World Land, what will happen is those women will get abused, physically and sexually
I wasn’t talking about that because it was an impossible hypothetical designed to show one aspect. Just the idea of forcing women to date men is abusive in itself. You don’t need to expound on the other consequences. It was already horrible, but I was making a point about something else.
It’s like how people learn logic in elementary school. If I say, “Some birds are red,” that doesn’t imply that I’m saying, “No birds are blue”. I said, “A certain number” of those men would turn a corner. That doesn’t imply that “none” of those men would become abusive. In fact, conversely, the way that you’re saying it could be read that you’re saying “all” of those men would become abusive. I mean, that’s what you’re literally saying, but I’m sure you don’t mean it, because I think there is nobody who would actually believe that.
Some of them will. Andrew Tate has over 10m twitter followers including a lot of teenagers and young men. While many of them will be inspired to commit physical and sexual violence against women, I think most of them actually won’t and can and will grow out of it as they get older and have some experience with women.
Most Trump voters aren’t rabid maga fanatics, they’re just the visible minority. I think the same is true for Tate followers.
failing that, a life of imprisonment far from the people they’re a danger to
I’m just going to leave this here, it’s a good book that might be worthwhile reading: Violence: Reflections on a National Epidemic - James Gilligan
You can’t put that on the women. Men have got to get their shit together. Just show a bit of empathy, bro! It’s not that hard, humans are literally wired for it. It’s just that capitalism is reinforcing humankind’s worst impulses.
Men have got to get their shit together. Just show a bit of empathy, bro! It’s not that hard, humans are literally wired for it.
There’s a concept from the autism community called the double empathy problem which posits that counter to the mainstream narrative that people with autism are lacking/missing empathy, autistic people do have empathy. The theory suggests that the brains of autistic individuals processes information and stimuli so dramatically differently from ‘neurotypical’ people that neurotypical people are typically unable to accurately understand what is going on in the neurodiverse mind and vice versa. It suggests that empathy seems to most easily work neurodiverse-to-neurodiverse and neurotypical-to-neurotypical which to me makes sense.
Now there are certainly plenty of people in the modern world who seem unable to display any form of empathy, but this theory does highlight that empathy isn’t a binary and depends on your ability to understand the mind of another.
There is no single way to be empathetic, and it is entirely possible that one person thinks they are being empathetic when in fact they are being antagonistic to the other. My point is that empathy can look different to different groups.
There is a whole industries to radicalize men. They try to get them hooked with “women don’t want to date me” and get them on the social media conveyor belt towards becoming a good right wing radical that’s immune to any logic.
You can’t put that on the women.
I wasn’t putting it on the women. The idea that women can have personal preferences and prefer certain men over others is not “putting it on the women”. I think that sort of interpretation is dangerous thinking, the sort of thing a person would say if they saw themselves as an “incel”.
So it’s a societal issue rather than men not pulling their bootstraps enough?
Absolutely don’t put that on women, but it is a mental illness so you can’t ask them to get their shit together they need help.
other men need to step in to provide the help they need
Being the same sex as someone who needs help with mental health doesn’t magically make you a qualified therapist/psychiatrist for them.
This is a ridiculous statement.
Lonely people need all sorts of help. Sometimes just having someone to talk to is enough. Plus, a lot of men have a hard time asking for help, especially for something as “unmanly” as loneliness. This can make someone offering help significantly more effective. Additionally, for a number of people, it’s just easier to open up to someone of the same sex.
- Yes, I was trying to be ambiguous with my statement since one of the definitions of the loneliness is men thinking they’re owed sex, and since women surely don’t owe them sex, other men are the only other logical option (which is indeed ridiculous)
- But I was also meaning that men are way too unsupportive and closed off with each other, and those who have the capacity would do the world a favor by being there as best we can for other men since the evidence seems to show we’ve been failing at this
I suspect that women aren’t dating conservative men, not because they want to punish them, but because they would personally rather not date a horrible person.
Considering how many women remain in an abusive relationship, I’m not sure that conservative men have less chances.
Its called Internalised Misogyny
Women who experience internalized misogyny may express it through minimizing the value of women, mistrusting women, and showing gender bias in favor of men. Women, after observing societal beliefs which demean the value and skills of women repeatedly, eventually internalize those misogynistic beliefs and apply them to themselves and other women.
but because they would personally rather not date a horrible person.
That’s not what women consider when choosing dates. Even the nicest (as a person) women.
They consider safety, reliability, how fun or not the person is, everything, but that everything is more practical than moral. Especially since evaluating someone by moral criteria from the first glance is an almost impossible task. Since women are in bigger danger from making mistakes, they usually know that.
Even when they share stupid posts from dating apps or whatever, the focus is on stupidity and awkwardness, not on someone being a douche, because honestly sex is not like other spheres of life and a woman being like “sorry, below 2 meter tall is not for me, and also I like guys with blue eyes and a car” is pretty normal, which, well, in other circumstances is being a douche.
And the proportion of good and bad people among men and women is the same, a reminder in case someone forgot this, ahem.
I don’t think this has much to do with the conservative\liberal category at all.
More like vulnerable\healthy, or insecure\content. The vulnerable and insecure parts of population in our time and situation might be more likely to feel conservative, but in essence this is not important.
I mean, OK, somewhere around 50s there were plenty of stats how women actually strongly prefer conservative men, while in average more men were liberal than conservative. Today this seems to be reverted.
The ideologies are secondary, just if a man talks too much of their ideology to a potential date, they need some therapy first, and if a man can’t manage some tact about their ideology when that correlates with misogyny, they are not trying hard enough to get that date, and if both are wrong but the other side wants to kill them with fire for their mind having been touched with that impure abomination of thought, then probably the other side needs some therapy. And - I know it’s hard to consider, but maybe, - some people are just not meant for each other, there’s that.
They consider safety, reliability, how fun or not the person is, everything, but that everything is more practical than moral.
Being conservative is mutually exclusive with being safe.
In your specific situation maybe. Even in mine maybe.
Lonely men develop more extremist views
Ah yes, the lonely man® with the agency of a fucking houseplant.
There is absolutely a systemic pressure radicalizing these men. It’s always partly their fault, but nowhere near fully
Remember that this process almost always happens before they turn 20, and usually to young teens
Not just systemic, but intentional. People who want to recruit for Nazi groups will hang around and give advice on “incel” forums.
I accidentally watched an interview to some right-wing incels, and I’d say that they were lonely because they fail as human being.
So you’re saying they have nothing to lose?
People usually want romantic partners to have a heart and a brain, and redhats and libertarians have neither.
libertarians have neither
I would say that an ideology based on non-violence, choice and responsibility, with those being impossible to delegate, is exactly about having a heart and a brain at least potentially, unlike the rest.
In any case people who, I think, could be interested in dating me (maybe they were so strongly hinting at something else, but being autistic and very shy and lacking willpower, I’ll never know) were of all kinds of political views. Some of those were even glad to hear about the libertarian kind of opinions. But importantly that wasn’t the subject of our interactions.
So don’t mix that American normalized intolerance with how women feel generally, please. Women are, ahem, as diverse as men.
libertarians have neither
I would say that an ideology based on non-violence, choice and responsibility, with those being impossible to delegate, is exactly about having a heart and a brain at least potentially, unlike the rest
Lol what. That’s not what libertarianism means in practice. In the real world it’s always “I don’t want to pay for other people, even if that means defunding the fire department so my house burns down”.
That’s not what libertarianism means in practice. In the real world it’s always “I don’t want to pay for other people, even if that means defunding the fire department so my house burns down”.
No, in the real world nothing is always what you’d want to claim.
…what?
Also have you read “a libertarian walks into a bear”?
…what?
Rephrasing for the slower types - you’re not an authority on what libertarianism is in the real world. I have my own experience to judge by.
Also have you read “a libertarian walks into a bear”?
No, I don’t even know what it is and I suspect nothing of value was lost.
It’s a book describing a real life attempt at libertarianism.
Ah. I’ve read of a legal process describing a real life attempt at anarcho-communism, ended with a few murders and the bosses of the settlement doing drugs trade.
So maybe it’s not at all about political ideologies, just about lacking people of proper qualifications in their experiment.
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Laugh it up, but don’t get angry at third party voters when you continue to pretend you don’t need those people’s votes and lose again.
I’d understand men, but conservative men? They aren’t even an option unless they stop being conservative
There have been many people who’ve gone viral across social media regarding their regret for voting Republican in the last election, and those are votes that could be snapped up by legitimate, thoughtful engagement.
Instead, we get these memes that are cheering on men’s mental health and economic crises. Maybe it’s fun to do that, but it’s also stupid.
Sounds to me like those men are realizing that conservatism doesn’t deliver shit for them.
Agreed, which is why it’s important to make ridiculing them less fashionable.
I don’t know why you think that means we shouldn’t ridicule conservative men as a whole. What counts for “conservative” now is actual fascism, not simply being bigoted or wanting deregulation. This is how MAGA “conservatives” themselves gatekeep things, so it’s not like I’m painting with a broad brush.
If someone escapes the cult, I’m proud of them, but I’m not pulling punches on the tribe they used to be a part of.
I don’t know why you think that means we shouldn’t ridicule conservative men as a whole.
The activist class doesn’t ridicule conservative men as a whole.
They ridicule men as a whole, and ignore that the crises facing men are not imagined nor hyperbole: they’re real, and the only people acknowledging them or pretending to offer solutions are conservatives.
Ask yourself how likely you are to trust people who punch you in the face, and how silly it is to blame them when it’s you who threw the punches and broke your hand.
Racists only need to trust that saying the n-word in public will get their ass beat.
So it is for being republican.
Why are you people so opposed to using shame to your strategic advantage?
Being conservative is not genetic: If they don’t want to deal with the extreme difficulty of being republican in public, then they should stop doing that.
I don’t care if they understand why or not. They will submit or perish.
I know you think “loosing again” would be this terrible thing but like bold of you to assume I want to bail you out of this horrible dystopia.
They gonna have to learn…
Oh, no. Not at all.
I get it.
Both sides seem to really, really enjoy fascism if they think the governmental pistol is pointed at the right people.
You are really going to have to get over this idea that violence itself is fascism. You will never win anything otherwise.
You know, MLK couldn’t have done what he did without Malcolm X. They were two sides of the same coin. “Listen to reason. Or we start bringing guns.”
Male loneliness epidemic doesn’t have anything to do with being single or not 🤦
Why do you think they join extremist male organizations? It ain’t to get laid.
That being said, if me being single is a byproduct of women collectively saying “fuck this conservative male bullshit,” by all means keep at it. I’m much happier with those men not reproducing.
Edit: alright I’m starting to think my post did not convey the message I intended.
I am ok being single if conservative men are not reproducing. The rest of it remains unchanged. It does not have to do with being single or not.
The right wing routinely try to co-opt terminology and twist it to their uses. You’ve fallen for this again by assuming every mention of a term is actually the twisted propoganda version.
So, wait I’m really confused.
The twisted propaganda term is used for men not getting laid.
The actual problem is men having a distinct lack of social support.
I must not understand this meme then.
Not getting laid might be part of the issue. People want to vent
It’s not. It’s actual loneliness. Not having regular social activities, not having support systems in place for their frustrations. Not being close to family, not having anyone to help them when they get sick. Plenty of lonely people are getting laid, but they still lack all that support.
No sexual activity as part of lack of normal and healthy social life is part of loneliness. Lack of intimacy and closeness is pretty bad to people.
Yes I’m not arguing that. But it’s only one aspect. There are more criteria to it.
Otherwise it seems as though people are arguing it’s inevitable that single men will remain single - and more men will isolate, and choose between suicide and radicalization. This is not true if the remaining social support is in place.
I understand this. I really do. I’m having just as hard of a time getting any dates as anyone else. I’m sexually and romantically frustrated as all hell. I understand the draw of the manosphere. But the disease that is spreading isnt because of the lack of that sex or romance.
I did specifically say it might be part of it though.
human beings have self-segregated into male/female as opposed to humans that can birth and humans that can’t…it seems that is where the issue lies…
What does this even mean?
Somebody can’t tell the difference between their own identity and which identities the humanity as a whole needs. Probably.
…i thought my words were clear and indicative, what part do you not understand?..
edit: spelling
I can’t tell whether you’re being tautologically absurd or whether you believe there’s some important distinction there that you’re just not sharing with us.
i still don’t get what you don’t understand? human beings have moved well beyond the need for male/female, yet here we are instead of dealing with human beings as a whole, and some can produce babies and some cannot, the fact that we even talk about it moves the human being beyond animalistic or even biologic. Men did this to themselves by continuing to be ‘men’ and not just being human…clearer?
Whilst I admire your desire to desire to remove the barriers between people there are still differences between the sexes, both biological and socially enforced (by both men and women).
Men did this to themselves by continuing to be ‘men’ and not just being human…clearer?
For someone who claims to want to treat people as ‘humans’ instead of men and women, that’s a pretty hypocritical statement to make. Men are supposedly bad for not transcending their ‘male’ group identitity and becoming gender-less humans - but you’re okay with denigrating them based on their group identity?
Men do not exist in a vacuum and you’ve fallen in to the classic trap of blaming them for the society in which they find themselves.
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men do not exist, humans who can birth and humans who cannot…you’re argument falls flat because “men” choose to be men, not just humans with masculine characteristics…
I’m all for abolishing gender, and I firmly believe that gender is a social construct, but that doesn’t mean gender is a choice (at least currently), nor does it mean that genders/men don’t exist.
Just because you and I feel that gender is useless to us (and arguably to society) doesn’t mean others have to feel the same way. Gender is oppressive, but it doesn’t have to be
What it means to be “a man” is not the same as all the toxic bullshit currently associated with being a man. Trans men should be allowed to identify as men without it also meaning that they’re bad people.
So every child is a man until they hit puberty, noted. And after menopause, every woman is automatically turned into a man.
Can we stop relating people’s identities to what’s happening between their legs?
