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Bunch of em are probably on Grindr with each other
Meanwhile, all the progressive poly guys I know who have figured out how to deeply respect women have more partners than they really have time for. And quite a few of them are not “good looking” by any conventional standard (though some are).
like one youtubers i used to follow, there are someone for everyone. even killers/serial killers have a partner of some sort, despite knowing that they are murderers. not good looking, but have a very fun or attractive personality. the common thing that steers people away, is being broke(although not always the case), hygiene and dressing well seems to be a major one.
men with pets often gets attention too, it makes you look less creepy and more of a normal person and a potential parent.(thats why there are so many thirst traps of men(although they are already attractive) pet animal videos, like with the dodo.
Pardon, but it smacks of weird defensiveness that you feel the need to bring up that serial killers often have intimate partners as some kind of counterpoint to the fact that men who figure out how to respect women’s boundaries are highly sought as partners.
Serial killers likely find partners by being manipulative and playing mind games - ie, being psychopaths.
Clearly the evidence that men who respect women have major success fostering reliable and enjoyable relationships with them is somehow highly threatening to a lot of guys.
Something has to immediately be said that instead says “but not respecting women also works.” Followed by crude red pill thinking - “And aren’t all women dumb bc some seem to like danger? And also, women are superficial, so pretend to like a puppy bc that works a lot.”
I know media has taught men that masculinity is basically defined by being able to disrespect women and think of them as winnable objects but –
Mentally healthy women aren’t falling for that shit. And you guys hate the baggage that the traumatized ones have who are insecure enough fall for that crap.
You could give up the machismo to try… respect and growing into someone who could be happy?
That’s how I found my wife. She was very impressed with my love and care for the last living dodo, which I keep safe from extinction solely for selfish purposes.
What brand of safe do you keep the dodo in? I have a thylacine that dashes for the door whenever I come and go.
In this case a cage made of the coldest iron, same as I use for my wife.
As someone left of Mamdani, why should my choice of Linux distro prevent me from having a loving feline pet?
Enterprises don’t get pets. Why else would you use RH?
Did anyone rise think this was about folks who use a paid version of Linux?
What do you MEAN ‘dnf’ stands for “do not fuck”???
Red hat is a paid Linux distribution
Right, which uses DNF to install software
I mean I’m a Catholic so we aren’t allowed to do that anyway unless you are trying to have kids.
Good. There are values and traits that should not procreate.
“Grab 'em by the lack of pussy.”
Red cap, no cat?
No cap
!slang for “no lie”!<
No cap, red cat?
Red hat = no cat, no cap
if every conservative woman hitched with every conservative man they would be 84% in a relationship.
but many conservative men are unpalatable even to conservative women
unless they are rich, they are more likely stick with them if they have the moolah.
it’s almost like being conservative comes with almost inherent traits that make someone undesirable as a partner. lack of open mindedness, critical thinking, any form of emotional maturity…
there’s a reason many conservatives in dating apps hide their beliefs. they know its a red flag for many more things than their “politics”.
lack of open mindedness, critical thinking, any form of emotional maturity…
Wasting money on loud motorcycles and huge smoke-emitting trucks …
not only that but talking about trump non-stop, having his FLAG and other paraphenelia.
The last woman I dated before my current girlfriend was a conservative woman. I didn’t see any flags for it, she seemed really open minded, and was very well educated. Shame on me for being so blind I suppose.
She turned out to have a husband and a young son. I’m not entirely sure what to believe since cheaters will say a lot of things, but she apparently hated her marriage a lot. She wouldn’t leave due to her beliefs though.
The fact that she was cheating on her partner and lying to you is independent of the fact that she was conservative.
…but I’m also not saying there isn’t a significant overlap in that Venn diagram.
She wouldn’t leave the marriage due to beliefs, but she would cheat, huh?
sounds like the conservative way.
I’m a 42 year old man with a cat and still single due to living in a very rural republican area and all women here are hardcore Trump fans so I’ll just stay single and spend time with my cat.
It must be hard to find friends too in that area. Hope you are doing fine.
I do alright, it’s crazy just like most things seeing people and friends you grew up with slowly becoming brainwashed and you having to distance yourself from them. Like most conservative people Covid broke and still is breaking a lot of people’s minds here.
Wanna date me? I’m Canadian and I have a really sexy permanent residence card waiting for you. Bats eyelashes.
My wife and I are looking for cats
Hey, wanna marry me and my wife?
Wise choice.
Thanks. Also her name is mojo.
I see you understood your assignment before we even needed to tell you =D
Cute derpy face
That’s a great cat! I’m sure the cost of vacuum bags is worth it!
Yep, I have a vacuum without a bag so I just empty it when it’s full which is often.
Dat blep! 😍
omg! I LOVE her!
I feel that…my Ginger is all I need here in bumfuck Kentucky.
I’m assuming it’s not an option to relocate.
Yea unfortunately, my job pays really good and has good benefits. And I’m born and raised here with all my family living here or within a few hours drive.
I wonder if IBM sees any downtick on their redhat sales because of this association.
cat companionCommand 'cat' not foundCommand 'cat' not foundThe fuck kinda system you running
Red Hat = No Cat
Oooooh, that joke went right over my head hah
Probably ssh into a container.
You can find cat in most containers
deleted by creator
That gives me anxiety on a few levels.
oh god they’ve borked their install. If busybox isnt safe, who is?
The busybox is a busy box because a cat is busy in the box
Authoritarians are probably less likely to keep cats, either because they’re not obedient/useful or because keeping cats is coded as feminine and thus contemptible.
Cats are lessons in consent and authoritarians hate consent.
Couldn’t be more wrong. Authoritarians are often psychopaths, and cats (honestly) are kinda psychopathic animals, if very charming, invasive predators and all that. So like many of them love cats and hate dogs (dogs are too direct and chaotic).
And when I had authoritarian views (monarchist with hard limitations, kinda similar to paleo-libertarians if I think about it, but I didn’t have knowledge of such terms then ; it was really long ago and was a reaction at being autistic among not very nice people), I wanted to have a piece of territory covered in tall grass and bushes populated by cats, so.
Wild take.
Very wild take, but as a cat owner I have to agree woth him on the point that cats are psychopathic
How did the cat garden end up going?
My sister made me responsible for a dog (not that I’m against that). And also since then I learned that letting cats roam is not very good for the nature.
I might get a cat in the future, though.
I mean, ya gotta be careful. Are they conservative because they are lonely, or are they lonely because they are conservative
There are a lot of progressive men that are lonely. I’d say, I fall under that category. And woof, dating as a progressive man ain’t no walk in the park.
Here I am going to be the distasteful contrarian progressive, but it’s because I’m desperately hoping people see that the difference isn’t dating.
Because yes, you are right, as a single progressive man, dating is no walk in the park. Plenty of good reasons for this on the side of women.
Are you lonely as termed by the actual problem of male loneliness? Do you have at least a couple of friends who you can get to lunch with? Do you have a brother, sister, cousin, parents, etc. nearby? Do you have someone to help you if you get sick? Do you have an active social group you feel included in?
If the answer to them is no, then yes, definitely you are in the loneliness group. Sure, dating can help with it - but what happens if/when you break up: you don’t have the support there.
I’m really worried about how people are continuing to separate and blame things that aren’t the root of problems on distractions.
Like I get it. I’m there. I’m divorced, I’m coming to terms that I was in a 15 year abusive relationship, I’m hurt by her cheating on me twice, I’m hurt by her rejecting my joys and attempts at connecting and reconnecting, I miss the idea of being with her. It’s been over two years since I slept next to her, or anyone.
She tried to isolate me. She love bombed me. She gaslit me. She threatened me.
But I had a kid, I have my parents, my brother, several friends, a couple of regular groups I meet up with. I desperately want the love life I pretended to have. But if it weren’t for that support system in place, I would have killed myself two years ago.
Instead I lost the weight that was actually killing me. I put muscle on where I’ve had none. There are physical features I cannot change that affect my physical attractiveness that I get that will impede my ability to date via apps.
That’s how I was able to figure this all out. The fact that you are progressive means that you see the value in other people, and see the value in connection.
There has been narratives pushed for decades to try and isolate us, gaslight us, and threaten us as humans. We need to put our oxygen mask on first before helping others.
I agree with a lot of what you said. But I’ll address things point by point.
I have friends and family I spend time with. But when I say I’m lonely, it’s the kind that can’t be filled by friends and family. Additionally, all my friends and family are just as exhausted with the state of things. So our time isn’t quality time because damn near everyone is financially stretched, social energy depleted, and working none stop to keep a roof over our heads.
Yes, I’m active and all that jazz. If I spend anymore time at the state parks they’ll probably name one after me.
My main issue is the commoditficaion of everything. Even dating seems to be more about money then actually getting to know the person across from you. (Yes not all women) I’ve date several different kinds of women (bbw, curvy, nonconventionally attractive women, and trans women) and the main issue is we both were more trauma bounding because of the grind and not actually getting to know each other.
Absolutely, on putting the mask on yourself first. But as a Black American the everyday barriers leaves very little left after to heal and grow.
I suspect that women aren’t dating conservative men, not because they want to punish them, but because they would personally rather not date a horrible person.
It’s a pretty bad spiral. Lonely men develop more extremist views, which makes them less attractive to women, which makes them lonelier, and they get even more extremist views, etc.
Like, if you lined all of the single men up who vote against women’s rights, and asked an equal number of women to sacrifice their own happiness to date them, a certain number of those horrible men would turn a corner and start to act like a human. But who is going to give up their own happiness to fix some broken asshole stranger? Very few people.
BUT, exceptions also occur, woman do date horrible men, if they are horrible themselves or they make some poor choices themselves. thats why incels have no excuse there something for everyone. they are just looking in the wrong place, looking for woman in areas that are more liberal of course they will have more resistance, or they are looking for woman that are only interested income/attractiveness maybes a little harder poc-wise.
You can’t put that on the women. Men have got to get their shit together. Just show a bit of empathy, bro! It’s not that hard, humans are literally wired for it. It’s just that capitalism is reinforcing humankind’s worst impulses.
There is a whole industries to radicalize men. They try to get them hooked with “women don’t want to date me” and get them on the social media conveyor belt towards becoming a good right wing radical that’s immune to any logic.
Pick up scenes, and now right wing grifters sole job is to gather as much conservative voters as possible to sustain conservative governments.
Men have got to get their shit together. Just show a bit of empathy, bro! It’s not that hard, humans are literally wired for it.
There’s a concept from the autism community called the double empathy problem which posits that counter to the mainstream narrative that people with autism are lacking/missing empathy, autistic people do have empathy. The theory suggests that the brains of autistic individuals processes information and stimuli so dramatically differently from ‘neurotypical’ people that neurotypical people are typically unable to accurately understand what is going on in the neurodiverse mind and vice versa. It suggests that empathy seems to most easily work neurodiverse-to-neurodiverse and neurotypical-to-neurotypical which to me makes sense.
Now there are certainly plenty of people in the modern world who seem unable to display any form of empathy, but this theory does highlight that empathy isn’t a binary and depends on your ability to understand the mind of another.
There is no single way to be empathetic, and it is entirely possible that one person thinks they are being empathetic when in fact they are being antagonistic to the other. My point is that empathy can look different to different groups.
You can’t put that on the women.
I wasn’t putting it on the women. The idea that women can have personal preferences and prefer certain men over others is not “putting it on the women”. I think that sort of interpretation is dangerous thinking, the sort of thing a person would say if they saw themselves as an “incel”.
Absolutely don’t put that on women, but it is a mental illness so you can’t ask them to get their shit together they need help.
mental illness is when you have actual disorder that is diagnosed bya proper physician, lonely is a mental illness
other men need to step in to provide the help they need
Being the same sex as someone who needs help with mental health doesn’t magically make you a qualified therapist/psychiatrist for them.
This is a ridiculous statement.
Lonely people need all sorts of help. Sometimes just having someone to talk to is enough. Plus, a lot of men have a hard time asking for help, especially for something as “unmanly” as loneliness. This can make someone offering help significantly more effective. Additionally, for a number of people, it’s just easier to open up to someone of the same sex.
except t hey are opening in places where right wing groups fester, or they only do it with pick up groups, which reinforces thier insecurities.
- Yes, I was trying to be ambiguous with my statement since one of the definitions of the loneliness is men thinking they’re owed sex, and since women surely don’t owe them sex, other men are the only other logical option (which is indeed ridiculous)
- But I was also meaning that men are way too unsupportive and closed off with each other, and those who have the capacity would do the world a favor by being there as best we can for other men since the evidence seems to show we’ve been failing at this
So it’s a societal issue rather than men not pulling their bootstraps enough?
I suspect that women aren’t dating conservative men
Well, there are plenty of conservative women too, so that can’t tell the whole story, can it?
Looks like conservative men and liberal women are in similar boats, statistically:
In broad terms, there are only 0.6 single liberal young men for each single liberal young woman; likewise, only 0.5 single conservative young women exist for every conservative young man. Statistically, in other words, about half of these ideologically minded young singles face the prospect of failing to find a partner who shares their politics.
This implies the liberal men are dating the conservative women, lol.
I suspect that women aren’t dating conservative men, not because they want to punish them, but because they would personally rather not date a horrible person.
Considering how many women remain in an abusive relationship, I’m not sure that conservative men have less chances.
incels are probably looking in the wrong places for them, there is something for everyone. just not something that can be attainable for you, but attainable for someone else.
Of course. There are for sure women so stupid to go with a misogynist virgin prick.
After all, we live in a world where some Americans voted for Trump and got their families raided by ICE a few months later.
Its called Internalised Misogyny
Women who experience internalized misogyny may express it through minimizing the value of women, mistrusting women, and showing gender bias in favor of men. Women, after observing societal beliefs which demean the value and skills of women repeatedly, eventually internalize those misogynistic beliefs and apply them to themselves and other women.
a certain number of those horrible men would turn a corner and start to act like a human
over here in Real World Land, what will happen is those women will get abused, physically and sexually
these men have a violent hatred for women. they don’t need a girlfriend, they need therapy and, failing that, a life of imprisonment far from the people they’re a danger to
over here in Real World Land, what will happen is those women will get abused, physically and sexually
I wasn’t talking about that because it was an impossible hypothetical designed to show one aspect. Just the idea of forcing women to date men is abusive in itself. You don’t need to expound on the other consequences. It was already horrible, but I was making a point about something else.
It’s like how people learn logic in elementary school. If I say, “Some birds are red,” that doesn’t imply that I’m saying, “No birds are blue”. I said, “A certain number” of those men would turn a corner. That doesn’t imply that “none” of those men would become abusive. In fact, conversely, the way that you’re saying it could be read that you’re saying “all” of those men would become abusive. I mean, that’s what you’re literally saying, but I’m sure you don’t mean it, because I think there is nobody who would actually believe that.
Some of them will. Andrew Tate has over 10m twitter followers including a lot of teenagers and young men. While many of them will be inspired to commit physical and sexual violence against women, I think most of them actually won’t and can and will grow out of it as they get older and have some experience with women.
Most Trump voters aren’t rabid maga fanatics, they’re just the visible minority. I think the same is true for Tate followers.
failing that, a life of imprisonment far from the people they’re a danger to
I’m just going to leave this here, it’s a good book that might be worthwhile reading: Violence: Reflections on a National Epidemic - James Gilligan
but because they would personally rather not date a horrible person.
That’s not what women consider when choosing dates. Even the nicest (as a person) women.
They consider safety, reliability, how fun or not the person is, everything, but that everything is more practical than moral. Especially since evaluating someone by moral criteria from the first glance is an almost impossible task. Since women are in bigger danger from making mistakes, they usually know that.
Even when they share stupid posts from dating apps or whatever, the focus is on stupidity and awkwardness, not on someone being a douche, because honestly sex is not like other spheres of life and a woman being like “sorry, below 2 meter tall is not for me, and also I like guys with blue eyes and a car” is pretty normal, which, well, in other circumstances is being a douche.
And the proportion of good and bad people among men and women is the same, a reminder in case someone forgot this, ahem.
I don’t think this has much to do with the conservative\liberal category at all.
More like vulnerable\healthy, or insecure\content. The vulnerable and insecure parts of population in our time and situation might be more likely to feel conservative, but in essence this is not important.
I mean, OK, somewhere around 50s there were plenty of stats how women actually strongly prefer conservative men, while in average more men were liberal than conservative. Today this seems to be reverted.
The ideologies are secondary, just if a man talks too much of their ideology to a potential date, they need some therapy first, and if a man can’t manage some tact about their ideology when that correlates with misogyny, they are not trying hard enough to get that date, and if both are wrong but the other side wants to kill them with fire for their mind having been touched with that impure abomination of thought, then probably the other side needs some therapy. And - I know it’s hard to consider, but maybe, - some people are just not meant for each other, there’s that.
They consider safety, reliability, how fun or not the person is, everything, but that everything is more practical than moral.
Being conservative is mutually exclusive with being safe.
In your specific situation maybe. Even in mine maybe.
Lonely men develop more extremist views
Ah yes, the lonely man® with the agency of a fucking houseplant.
There is absolutely a systemic pressure radicalizing these men. It’s always partly their fault, but nowhere near fully
Remember that this process almost always happens before they turn 20, and usually to young teens
Not just systemic, but intentional. People who want to recruit for Nazi groups will hang around and give advice on “incel” forums.
They are conservative because they are stupid
It’s both. Young men are being pushed right because much leftleaning messaging has decided to, uncharacteristically, broadly paint men in general as bad, instead of being more focused with their targets. This is unlike every other things where it fights against stereotyping.
The right is [falsely] promising solutions to their concerns.
The left is telling them it’s their fault and to fuck off because other people have worse problems and blaming men [in general] for those other people’s problems. And then wondering why they lost the young men in the last election. Young men are just as poor as everyone else, stop blaming them for shit old ass billionaires did before they were born.
thats not even remotely true at all, nowhere have been telling men is at fault for why there are problems lol. thats sucha mysogynistic view of the right wingers. i suspect you are only looking from a right wing prospective, because thats how conservative see the left. but the right love to place blame ON WOMEN for not dating conservative men, and plus for rightfully accusing them of SA/ or some other form of violence.
This sounds like a misrepresentation of left wing politics.
It sounds more like how the right defines the left which brings us to the real issue.
Outrage narratives have grown increasingly popular with social media and the right spends endless time blaring sirens on representing the left a certain way.
The left has in response, done little, to influence the narrative.
I personally have not heard the left as a whole admonishing individual men simply for being men.
I think an honest assessment of society, historically and now, should lead to the conclusion that we live in a male centric society that is gradually becoming less male centric. This is a good thing if you believe in fairness and egalitarianism (ie. not fascism).
It was a little more than 50 years ago that women could not hold credit and were expected to be subservient to their husbands or else be institutionalized for “mental illness”.
I think many women see this backlash / desire to go back from conservative men as a skill issue so I’m not suprised they’re looking elsewhere.
I accidentally watched an interview to some right-wing incels, and I’d say that they were lonely because they fail as human being.
I cant afford stable housing for myself, so I cant afford a cat.
People usually want romantic partners to have a heart and a brain, and redhats and libertarians have neither.
libertarians have neither
I would say that an ideology based on non-violence, choice and responsibility, with those being impossible to delegate, is exactly about having a heart and a brain at least potentially, unlike the rest.
In any case people who, I think, could be interested in dating me (maybe they were so strongly hinting at something else, but being autistic and very shy and lacking willpower, I’ll never know) were of all kinds of political views. Some of those were even glad to hear about the libertarian kind of opinions. But importantly that wasn’t the subject of our interactions.
So don’t mix that American normalized intolerance with how women feel generally, please. Women are, ahem, as diverse as men.
libertarians have neither
I would say that an ideology based on non-violence, choice and responsibility, with those being impossible to delegate, is exactly about having a heart and a brain at least potentially, unlike the rest
Lol what. That’s not what libertarianism means in practice. In the real world it’s always “I don’t want to pay for other people, even if that means defunding the fire department so my house burns down”.
That’s not what libertarianism means in practice. In the real world it’s always “I don’t want to pay for other people, even if that means defunding the fire department so my house burns down”.
No, in the real world nothing is always what you’d want to claim.
…what?
Also have you read “a libertarian walks into a bear”?
…what?
Rephrasing for the slower types - you’re not an authority on what libertarianism is in the real world. I have my own experience to judge by.
Also have you read “a libertarian walks into a bear”?
No, I don’t even know what it is and I suspect nothing of value was lost.
It’s a book describing a real life attempt at libertarianism.
Ah. I’ve read of a legal process describing a real life attempt at anarcho-communism, ended with a few murders and the bosses of the settlement doing drugs trade.
So maybe it’s not at all about political ideologies, just about lacking people of proper qualifications in their experiment.
