Serves as a shield against small calibre bullets. Is able to accurately fire sniper rounds
Kingsman enjoyer?
I mean I was basically gonna comment the Kingsman umbrella lol. It just makes sense. They got guns, bulletproof, video screens, they’re strong as hell, and don’t they have swords in them too?
Unlimited budget? My tactical umbrella is capable of generating 5MW of electricity from cold nuclear fusion.
Then you will need a secondary umbrella for primary, watsr and electricity go boom boom together
Thankfully, being shaped like an umbrella, the design already accounts for this by directing rain away from the power output located at the base of the handle. It’s Type C!
With my unlimited budget, I have also funded research to increase the official USB-C PD spec to a frankly irresponsible five megawatts of energy throughput.
The clearance you need for 1 Megavolt means that you need something like 45ft between your terminals to avoid arcing. I suggest a slightly higher than 5A limit on your new USB spec
This has me cackling thanks
Ok, but can you hold it above your head?
Why wouldn’t they be able to? It’s an umbrella.
To be fair, since it is also a 5MW cold fusion reactor, it is also rather heavy, so one does need to be stronger than the average person. It’s the ONLY downside to this innovative product. It even folds!
I assumed that you wouldn’t ask for an umbrella that you, yourself, would be unable to carry.
Now that just seems a bit unrealistic, doesn’t it? Everyone knows nuclear reactors are quite heavy. Let’s not stoop to silliness.
What are you talking about? I don’t know they are quite heavy, so that means everyone doesn’t.
1
Tactical hand-free design is essential.
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The top part detaches and is a drone.
Thermal mask against FPV drones.
And a cool sword, that’d be sick.
To fight off said drones, no doubt
Never folds the wrong way or moves unpredictably during strong winds.
Let’s air pass through, but only one-way? Could potentially use it to Mary Poppins out of a situation
Its a Mary Poppins umbrella that floats you gently to the ground. And a laser shoots from the top.
Wouldn’t you want the lasers to shoot from the sides? How likely is there to be an enemy above you as you float to the ground?
Ergonomically, it makes more sense to hold it like a rifle when it’s folded.
Yeah, but then you’d plummet to the ground…
I’d put the unlimited budget to work miniaturizing a drone fleet powerful enough to maintain position / reliably follow the user thru storm winds that hold a large umbrella-style cover over you.
I never use umbrellas cuz I feel like they’re annoying to carry and you still get wet, but if it just reliably kept me dry with no extra work on my part I’d be more interested.
the song “jesus walks” has to play full volume fron the drone speakers when this happens
If you did it today, it wouldn’t be the first. Here are some:
- The Unbreakable Umbrella is the first one I can recall hearing of. It’s heavy (775g) and made of a composite material the manufacturer claims is good for hitting people.
- The Streetwise Stunbrella conceals an electroshock weapon inside an umbrella.
- Security Umbrella is another umbrella marketed as suitable for hitting people.
- “Bulgarian umbrellas” are poison pellet guns built into umbrellas, intended for murder.
- Windlass Steelcrafts sells an umbrella which conceals a rapier. There appear to be several similar products from other companies.
“Stunbrella” is great. Top name. Slap a flashlight in the bottom of the handle, which can also be unscrewed off to unsheath a tanto-knife styled blade for piercing and prying (the flashlight end would essentially be the handle/pommel of this knife.)
Integrated fleshlight in the handle. Screen on the underside of the umbrella for videos. Bullet resistant outer shell that expands into a small tent.
Pump action umbrella
You got me back with the tent
It has a stash of termites inside that can be injected into wooden structures for very slow infiltration of wooden doors and structures.
Your enemies wont know what hit them.
Reflective inner surface that can double as a solar cooker.
That could be quite handy in a survival sitation, along with another posters suggestion that it can double as a tent in a pinch
keeps rain off my head
the same as me, except it’s been in the army.
It has a detachable canopy that can stabilize and move on its own for 5-6 seconds
That’s pretty cool, it could be a drone of sorts that follows where you point the shaft like a baton
Somehow rain never hits you from the side even when it’s windy or your running really fast.
