What is wrong with straight people? Are they okay?
No dad it’s not hormones I just accidentally tapped my card at the store and instantly grew a set of boobs.
Paying for things is feminine. You should punch the cashier and shout “this is mine!” like a real man.
/s, obviously
Pay the iron price
Did you pay the tap price or insert price, son?
Can someone make a shitty shop of a card reader with a card in it and a aheago face please?
Sure thing
Topic, I love you it’s perfect!
Thank you, its beautiful
I hear the newer versions now like it in the receipt hole.
Also: who needs AI…a text prompt leading to the creation of a new image. You’ve seen it here folks.
Instructions unclear, my penis is stuck in a card reader and I have a lifetime ban from Chipotle.
Is this satire?
I fucking hope so
But I suspect it isn’t.
Given the wording “confident and penetrative thrust”, I think it must be satire.
I checked out the Twitter account. I think it’s clearly a joke, but the guy is a big Trump supporter so I’d say he does ultimately believe the rhetoric behind the joke. Therefore, not satire.
I overestimate people…
Thank you for putting in the work.
What is wrong with straight people? Are they okay?
Why are y’all taking this seriously?
there are a non zero amount of straight guys who saw this and will never tap their card ever again
Doesn’t make this any less of an obvious joke
deleted by creator
“straight”
IDK but I’m pan and it’s obvious to me that this is satire.
Yes but thats because you may be self aware.
There’s no hope for any who do.
I know. Obviously straights aren’t people.
broke: tapping your card
woke: thrusting it
bespoke: not making any contact with the terminal to assert dominancebespoke: not making any contact with the terminal to assert dominance
Doesn’t tapping fall under that?
Tapping implies making contact, in my brain at least. Tap = sound = contact
As a straight person, I can safely say “no”. Please send help
This guy has definitely fucked a chip reader.
I mean, we all have. Right?
I stopped fingering one to type this and now its doing the error beep.
This pairs well with my draft article “Penetration fascination slows wireless charging adoption”
the seconds sentence is like satire but it’s twitter so idk
If I pay cash, does that make me nonbinary?
Depends, do you gayly slide it over or do you slam it on the counter, breaking it?
How does one slam a bill on the counter breaking it?
Ohhhhh… Were you talking about breaking the counter?
The bill collides into the counter with such force that both immediately disintegrate into a cloud of hot plasma.
Hot damn
How does one slam a bill on the counter breaking it?
Forcefully. /j
No, it makes you suspicious. Only criminals pay in cash, and the FBI wants to ask you a few questions.
The FBI can ask as many questions as they like. They’re over there, and I’m over here.
Real men take what they want and don’t apologize. If you’re not serving 25-life for multiple petty robberies that escalated to attempted murder for no discernible reason other than insecurity about your dick size then you’re not a real man.
Here’s exactly what my feed looks like. I’d say this is further evidence that the straights are not okay.
Admit you’re gay or take 25.
This dude takes 50 cards (just in case).
What a bananas take.
“I’m so horny at all times it feels like a goddamn fever dream, a literal full beard is the only thing that even slows me down. Everyone needs to cover themselves in one way or another, otherwise the urge to just dick them down on sight is too much, it’s unreasonable to expect me and other men to simply resist.”
I think the first is satire (hard to say for sure though) but that second one isn’t a straight.
And if you hover instead of tap?
That’s edging.
Kinky
