Sir, the CIA

• sells super crack
• has Jason Bourne
• tried to break into the brain of Bin Laden’s cat
• has weather contoling equipment
• switched the brain of a skier with a goldfish to prevent East Germany from wining the 1986 Olympics
• has a life-size Magreth Thatcher robot
• has a machine that beams an image of the Christian god directly into people’s brains

…but the watchlist would be the FBI.

At least according to my reliable sources.