My favorite stupid curling fact is that for competition they’ve had to put NASCAR-like limits on broom technology because some teams developed a “broom” that was essentially a microplane grater that could polish the ice to microscopic smoothness.

Zinda, his eyes red.

I hope I’m infected with some interspatial parasites so I can forget this joke.

I want to be able to laugh at it over and over again.

Never stop making these.