• skulblaka@sh.itjust.works
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    8 hours ago

    I made the best grades in my year for nearly every year of my schooling from 1st grade up through junior year of high school. My dad would tell me that I was smart and gifted, and he would expect straight A’s on my report card. If I ever brought home less than a perfect score I’d be punished for it.

    My mom, though, always told me that gap was an illusion. Sure, I was a smart kid, but I wasn’t doing anything anyone else couldn’t. If I could do it so could they, and vice versa. If I wanted to keep that lead I needed to work for it - but more importantly that taught me not to feel superior to the other kids. I wasn’t that special, I just learned new info easily.

    I think that was really important for my developing empathy and maybe more smart kids need to hear that.

    • CharmOffensive@lemm.ee
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      7 hours ago

      Growth mindset vs fixed mindset. If you tell a kid they’re smart when they succeed and they don’t get an A, they think “oh, this means I’m actually not smart and I never will be. If some people can be naturally smart, I guess I just naturally suck as a person”. If you tell a kid that hard work gets As and they get a B, they think “oh, I just need to work harder and try again next time”.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      7 hours ago

      Would be great if we weren’t constantly stack ranking kids. Humans perform better as a team than as a bunch of atomized at-each-others-throats individuals.